Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

It has been widely claimed that some students in university would like to learn additional
subjects
apart from their main
subjects
.
While
it is argued by some that it is crucial to spend all time and concentration for learning for the degree.
This
essay will
firstly
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first
show examples
discuss both perspectives before elaborating
why
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on why
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I consider
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning
subjects
beside from
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besides
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major
subjects
to be
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
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circumstance
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circumstances
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. To
being
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begin
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with, it might be for some to believe that concentration is a key
for
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to
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success.
This
is
properly
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proper
show examples
because it will help focus on the contends in the
subjects
.
For example
, in
case
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the case
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of studying accounting, spending most of your time
to study
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studying
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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accounting
subjects
might help you be a successful accountant.
For
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From
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this
perspective, it will expand your job
opportunity
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opportunities
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after college
due to
your specialist in accounting.
On the other hand
, it could be a significant point that wider learning is more comprehensive to build knowledge.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students in accounting major could take the subject in
other field
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another field
other fields
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to support their learning in accounting
such
as finance and marketing.
As a consequence
, the student will not be only
accountant
Correct article usage
an accountant
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but
also
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a marketer. In conclusion,
although
it is undeniable that putting the effort and spending all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
to focus in
main
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the main
a main
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subject will provide the advantage for
the learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
to be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
expert in the field, I am the option to believe that learning other
subjects
is important as well because it will increase your perspective in term of various field that causing to be comprehensive learning.
Submitted by kanittha.sma on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that both sides of the argument are evenly discussed and that the conclusion is clear and directly links back to the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by using a more varied range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, ensuring they contribute to the argument and illustrate your point effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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