IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been widely claimed that some students in university would like to learn additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 apart from their main
subjects
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 it is argued by some that it is crucial to spend all time and concentration for learning for the degree.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
 discuss both perspectives before elaborating
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
 I consider
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning
subjects
Use synonyms
beside from
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 major
subjects
Use synonyms
 to be
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
show examples
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
. To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with, it might be for some to believe that concentration is a key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success.
This
Linking Words
 is
properly
Change the word
proper
show examples
 because it will help focus on the contends in the
subjects
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of studying accounting, spending most of your time
to study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accounting
subjects
Use synonyms
 might help you be a successful accountant.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
this
Linking Words
 perspective, it will expand your job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 after college
due to
Linking Words
 your specialist in accounting.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it could be a significant point that wider learning is more comprehensive to build knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students in accounting major could take the subject in
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
 to support their learning in accounting
such
Linking Words
 as finance and marketing.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, the student will not be only
accountant
Correct article usage
an accountant
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a marketer. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is undeniable that putting the effort and spending all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 to focus in
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
 subject will provide the advantage for
the learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 to be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 expert in the field, I am the option to believe that learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
 is important as well because it will increase your perspective in term of various field that causing to be comprehensive learning.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that both sides of the argument are evenly discussed and that the conclusion is clear and directly links back to the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by using a more varied range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, ensuring they contribute to the argument and illustrate your point effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: