Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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It has been widely claimed that some students in university would like to learn additional

subjects

Use synonyms

apart from their main

subjects

Use synonyms

While

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it is argued by some that it is crucial to spend all time and concentration for learning for the degree.

This

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essay will

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firstly

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first

show examples

discuss both perspectives before elaborating

why

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on why

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I consider

that

Correct word choice

apply

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learning

subjects

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beside from

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besides

show examples

major

subjects

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to be

positive

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the positive

a positive

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circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

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. To

being

Verb problem

begin

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with, it might be for some to believe that concentration is a key

for

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show examples

success.

This

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properly

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proper

show examples

because it will help focus on the contends in the

subjects

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For example

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, in

case

Correct article usage

the case

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of studying accounting, spending most of your time

to study

Change the verb form

studying

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

accounting

subjects

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might help you be a successful accountant.

For

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From

show examples

this

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perspective, it will expand your job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

after college

due to

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your specialist in accounting.

On the other hand

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, it could be a significant point that wider learning is more comprehensive to build knowledge.

For instance

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the

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apply

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students in accounting major could take the subject in

other field

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another field

other fields

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to support their learning in accounting

such

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as finance and marketing.

As a consequence

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, the student will not be only

accountant

Correct article usage

an accountant

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but

also

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Unnecessary verb

apply

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a marketer. In conclusion,

although

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it is undeniable that putting the effort and spending all

time

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the time

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to focus in

main

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the main

a main

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subject will provide the advantage for

the learn

Wrong verb form

learning

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to be

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expert in the field, I am the option to believe that learning other

subjects

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is important as well because it will increase your perspective in term of various field that causing to be comprehensive learning.

Submitted by kanittha.sma on Sat Dec 16 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument are evenly discussed and that the conclusion is clear and directly links back to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance the logical structure by using a more varied range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your main points, ensuring they contribute to the argument and illustrate your point effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Your opinion

More and more people are using computer and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on children to succeed. What are the reasons for doing this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak another language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment.