Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
success
is determined by a
University
education, whilst
other's
Correct your spelling
others
show examples
believe that
success
is a combination of multiple factors. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss why I do not agree with
this
notion and form a conclusion.
Firstly
, the term
success
can be defined in various terms for different people.
For instance
, in terms of education or wealth. Obtaining a
University
degree could be a form of academic validation that one has been working towards their whole life.
Furthermore
, the majority of competitive
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
require the need for tertiary education,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
medicine. If one is able to become a Doctor
due to
their academia
then
they have surely achieved
success
.
Secondly
, studying from a higher facility opens pathways across the globe for that person,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
they are more likely to be offered an occupation in a
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
country like America.
This
ensures that they will earn a respectable living
as well as
occupation, which are two things that define
success
.
On the other hand
, with the development of social media and the advancement of technology, there are many who are now performing outstandingly. Social media platforms,
such
as
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
have enabled people to build business empires and inspire millions across the globe.
Moreover
, many have the likelihood of becoming millionaires, which is an achievement within itself.
In addition
to
this
, there are many other educational avenues that can now be pursued
instead
of
University
,
for example
, Apprenticeships. By pursuing
this
avenue an individual can learn all the skills they require, for a marginal cost. There is
also
a greater possibility of an earlier career,
therefore
enabling them to earn a decent living before
graduates
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
. In conclusion, it seems advisable that
success
is gathered through new technological advances and educational routes rather than just through
University
.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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task achievement
Ensure that there is a clear thesis statement in the introduction that not only presents both views but also clearly states your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance logical structuring of the arguments and to provide clear progression between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, which will help to make your arguments more persuasive and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that shows the main idea of the paragraph, allowing the reader to easily follow the logical development of the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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