In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?
Some people argue that
in particular
countries lot of individuals are becoming intrigued in looking out about the past story of the place
that they live in. I believe that this phenomena
is good and can make a few impacts. Through Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
this
essay
I will explain what and how, regarding Add a comma
essay,
this
issue.
There are many reasons why citizens are curious of
something that Change preposition
about
related
to Add a missing verb
is related
place
they Add an article
the place
lived
in. Wrong verb form
live
First,
they want to know deeply about their home. They just simply want to explore the past story of their house or building and become interested when they look
that there are some Verb problem
see
intrigue
facts about it. Replace the word
intriguing
Second,
they might want to look and
develop that information to create something new. Through Change preposition
at and
this
, they can make their place
into something better than before. For instance
, with some interesting information about their home, they might be able to share and upload it to the
social media and it will Correct article usage
apply
make
a good Verb problem
have
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
to
them and their family.
To know something about the past story of their house or building, they can achieve it Change preposition
on
with
many Change preposition
in
way
. Change to a plural noun
ways
First,
they can ask to
the older people Remove the preposition
apply
on
their house. The older people have lived for a long time before them, so they might know something more. After that, they might find the resources through the local museum or gallery. They might be able to find some information regarding their Change preposition
in
place
history on that Change noun form
place's
place
if their family is well-known.
In conclusion, it is indeed important to care about the place
we lived
inWrong verb form
live
,
because with that we can deliver our knowledge to our grandchild in the future and we have some way to achieve that sources.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to poor paragraphing and inconsistent progression of ideas. Please ensure each paragraph presents a clear central idea and that the sentences within are logically connected to support that idea, contributing to the overall argument or explanation of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow from one sentence to another.
coherence cohesion
Your essay does contain an introduction and conclusion, but they are inadequately developed and fail to clearly state the essay's main topic and summarise the main points respectively. To improve, make sure your introduction effectively sets the context and states the essay's purpose, while your conclusion should succinctly wrap up the discussion, restating the main points made.
coherence cohesion
Main points are presented, but the support provided for them is weak. Use concrete examples, data, or expert opinions to substantiate the main ideas of your essay. This lends credibility to your arguments and aids in convincing the reader of your viewpoints.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the prompt, but you need to ensure that all aspects of the question are answered fully. The essay should address both the reasons for the interest in a home's history and the ways in which people can research this. Make sure to spend an equal amount of text on both parts and develop your ideas more thoroughly.
task achievement
Your essay contains ideas relevant to the topic, but they lack depth and clarity. Aim to expand on your ideas more comprehensively by explaining the reasoning behind them and how they support your argument. Avoid generalisations and strive for specific, well-articulated points.
task achievement
Your essay lacks relevant, specific examples to support the ideas presented. Examples help to illustrate and strengthen your points. Whenever you make a claim or present a perspective, try to back it up with a specific example or anecdote, which can provide a stronger and more convincing argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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