IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is one of the best ways to solve environmental problems by increasing the cost of fuels for cars and other vehicles. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
air
Use synonyms
 pollution is one of the major problems in the world.Some people believe that raising the price of gas for automobiles can solve
this
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 problem.I totally disagree with
this
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 view,since expensive types of gasoline can affect individuals who rely on autos for work and other stuff.Needless to say, there are other ways to resolve these ecological concerns.
To begin
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 with,people with low incomes can be unfairly impacted by the expensive worth of autos. Individuals use cars in their daily lives for many reasons.Cars are used to get to work,to travel and so on.It means that they spend plenty of gasoline.In
this
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 case,the raised price of fuel can take a bunch of money from them.
For instance
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,
for
Change preposition
apply
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a person who earns 30 pounds per month,
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is prohibited
to spend
Change preposition
from spending
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 cash on fuel.Because they must save some money for food,clothes and other essentials.
Finally
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,it is the wrong way to resolve the
air
Use synonyms
 quality concern.
Secondly
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,we have various ways to deal with
this
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 trouble. There are many factors that badly affect
air
Use synonyms
 quality.
For example
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,burning of garbage waste and cutting down the trees.As I see it,
ministry
Add an article
the ministry
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 should take action on these things rather than increasing the price of fuels.Not only the law,but every human being can take action.
For instance
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,if we do not burn the rubbish and plant some plants or even trees, it is our best to a better
air
Use synonyms
 quality.
To sum up
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,
instead
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 of raising the payment for petrol,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 politics should focus on more important factors.
Then
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, our nature will be clear and safe.

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that articulate your position. Ensure that your essay has a clearly defined structure with an unambiguous introduction and a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint. Refrain from introducing new points in the conclusion.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. Your argument would benefit from a logical progression of ideas with clear paragraphing and varied conjunctions and discourse markers.
Tone
Avoid contractions and informal language in academic writing. Always use the full forms (e.g., 'do not' instead of 'don't') and maintain a formal tone throughout the essay.
Supporting Details
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support each point. Instead of making general statements, use specific, relevant examples to demonstrate how your ideas apply to the question being asked.
Task Response
Address the task directly by discussing both sides of the argument before providing your own opinion. Make sure your viewpoint is clear and that you fully explore the implications of your stance in relation to the question.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental preservation
  • Sustainable transportation
  • Green technologies
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Renewable energy
  • Fuel-efficient vehicles
  • Electric vehicles (EVs)
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic impact
  • Consumer behavior
  • Disproportionate effect
  • Government subsidies
  • Comprehensive policies
  • Cost-effective solutions
  • Carbon footprint reduction
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