IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

In many countries, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccines in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #vaccines #spread #disease #development
In certain countries,it is obligatory to obtain
vaccines
 in order to, prevent the spread of disease. I reckon that, nowadays individuals have plenty of opportunities to prevent
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of diseases because of mandatory
vaccines
.We will discuss
this
 question in
this
 essay. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 government have a large number of medical
programs
 which protect people from various sicknesses.The main reason is
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 which
Add a missing verb
is equal
show examples
equal
Change the word
equally
show examples
 strong country.For
instace
Correct your spelling
instance
 in former USSR
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 they have plenty of
programs
 to protect people from sicknesses.They have
programs
 for vaccinations against measles, tetanus, etc.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are many people who are
againt
Correct your spelling
against
 those
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of
vaccines
Change the noun form
vaccine
show examples
 projects.Certain individuals think that it is propaganda from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.Others think
that
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
experimental
programs
 which harmful. In conclusion, I think that there are more positive sides than negative and
huminity
Correct your spelling
humanity
humidity
 needs
vaccines
.
Submitted by kassymov_99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical progression by organizing ideas into coherent paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a proper introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly present the topic and your viewpoint, and your conclusion should effectively summarize the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Support your ideas with specific details and examples rather than general statements.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the task by providing a clear opinion on whether mandatory vaccines are a positive or negative development. Expand on your reasons with well-explained arguments.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to ensure clarity and depth in your essay. Avoid overgeneralizing or presenting unclear arguments.
task achievement
Include relevant examples that are specific to the point you are trying to make. They should help illustrate your argument and make it more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!