Today, more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?
In the modern era, there is a phenomenon where citizens require utilities immediately
due to
the fact that recent society has been further
developed. From my perspective, this
advancement
can be seen as having a potentially advantageous impact on the development
of civilization.
It must be considered that the population increase
globally has led to an increase
in the need for goods in public. To explain, the increase
in the number of people has promoted the appearance of many services in order to satisfy the living standards of residents. As a result
, society would take advantage of this
enhancement by meeting many immediate requirements
. Take the US as a prime example for this
issue. Transporting services or shipping are the major jobs in this
state, with highly prized salaries as the tricky requirement for customers who buy products online.
In the proliferation of this
development
, there are numerous acceptable reasons that illustrate the advantageous societal developments. The main benefit is that this
advancement
can encourage the improvement of many fields of service. Additionally
, the increase
in online booking and shopping can reflect the quality of transport services. For instance
, the advancement
of preposterous requirements
for citizens has encouraged many shopping websites like Tiki, Shopee, and Amazon. As a result
, the increase
in customer requirements
can encourage the development
of society.
In conclusion, the advancement
of civilization has improved the service industry in order to serve the immediate requirements
of customers. This
development
has been seen as a positive development
because
the encouragement it brings.Add the preposition
because of
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task achievement
Be sure to clearly state your opinion and directly answer the question in your introduction and conclusion for maximum clarity. This will help in making your stance unmistakable.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. While you provided a general example of the US and mentioned shopping websites like Tiki, Shopee, and Amazon, more detailed explanations or statistics could enhance your argument's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
Analyze both the positive and negative aspects of the topic more thoroughly to provide a balanced argument, especially since the question asks for both perspectives.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the topic of the essay and developed a coherent argument about the impact of the desire for instant goods, services, and news.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly framed the essay, providing a good overview and a strong closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear logical flow, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite