Today, more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

In the modern era, there is a phenomenon where citizens require utilities immediately
due to
the fact that recent society has been
further
developed. From my perspective,
this
advancement
can be seen as having a potentially advantageous impact on the
development
of civilization. It must be considered that the population
increase
globally has led to an
increase
in the need for goods in public. To explain, the
increase
in the number of people has promoted the appearance of many services in order to satisfy the living standards of residents.
As a result
, society would take advantage of
this
enhancement by meeting many immediate
requirements
. Take the US as a prime example for
this
issue. Transporting services or shipping are the major jobs in
this
state, with highly prized salaries as the tricky requirement for customers who buy products online. In the proliferation of
this
development
, there are numerous acceptable reasons that illustrate the advantageous societal developments. The main benefit is that
this
advancement
can encourage the improvement of many fields of service.
Additionally
, the
increase
in online booking and shopping can reflect the quality of transport services.
For instance
, the
advancement
of preposterous
requirements
for citizens has encouraged many shopping websites like Tiki, Shopee, and Amazon.
As a result
, the
increase
in customer
requirements
can encourage the
development
of society. In conclusion, the
advancement
of civilization has improved the service industry in order to serve the immediate
requirements
of customers.
This
development
has been seen as a positive
development
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
the encouragement it brings.
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task achievement
Be sure to clearly state your opinion and directly answer the question in your introduction and conclusion for maximum clarity. This will help in making your stance unmistakable.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. While you provided a general example of the US and mentioned shopping websites like Tiki, Shopee, and Amazon, more detailed explanations or statistics could enhance your argument's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
Analyze both the positive and negative aspects of the topic more thoroughly to provide a balanced argument, especially since the question asks for both perspectives.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the topic of the essay and developed a coherent argument about the impact of the desire for instant goods, services, and news.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly framed the essay, providing a good overview and a strong closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear logical flow, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
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