Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no doubt that these days

people

Use synonyms

have problems with their

health

Use synonyms

which is making their

health

Use synonyms

worse some

people

Use synonyms

believe that an increase in public

health

Use synonyms

facilities is significant

while

Linking Words

others think that an increase the public

health

Use synonyms

will be affected. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my opinion. In terms of benefits expansion of public

health

Use synonyms

in the whole world is again thought as we have a lake of public

health

Use synonyms

in our country making

sports

Use synonyms

popular in our country

moreover

Linking Words

, to encourage

people

Use synonyms

to do exercise in convenient time and

also

Linking Words

anytime.in terms of disadvantages,

people

Use synonyms

argue that public

health

Use synonyms

is not essential nowadays there are gyms, clubs, and

people

Use synonyms

can do

sports

Use synonyms

in their homes some

people

Use synonyms

think that increasing our a building and a road is necessary nowadays more than that. The main reason for giving support to

this

Linking Words

is that public

health

Use synonyms

plays in many ways to decrease your weight, to be mental

health

Use synonyms

and you get a good mood. To illustrate, there was a questionnaire for raising

sports

Use synonyms

facilities well many

people

Use synonyms

want to do

sports

Use synonyms

and be healthy.

In other words

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is an argument about

sports

Use synonyms

, that will affect

people

Use synonyms

not just the government. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

both views are essential for

this

Linking Words

the contemporary era

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

in my opinion as I can see from the world where many

people

Use synonyms

fat

Add a missing verb

are fat

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

, developing public

sports

Use synonyms

is perfect for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

nowadays.

luhana.chiiSun Dec 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. Your essay attempts to address these but the transition between ideas is at times unclear.

coherence cohesion

Aim to avoid repeating arguments. Focus on providing clear and distinct points in each paragraph, rather than reiterating the same idea in different words.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments clearly. Each paragraph should address a single main idea and provide supporting sentences that reinforce that idea.

task achievement

Make sure you provide a complete response to the task with a clear opinion or solution. Your essay touches on the points but does not develop each one sufficiently.

task achievement

Develop clear and comprehensive ideas that relate directly to the question. Work on explaining how these ideas answer the prompt fully. Ideas in your essay were at times unclear or underdeveloped.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your essay more persuasive and your arguments more compelling. Your essay lacked specific examples to support its claims.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

246 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is argued that while evaluating a person, we often take into account his social status along with his material possessions. In the meantime, society forgets about genuine values like honour, kindness, and trust. I personally do believe those three are the most valuable qualities and will explain my point of view in this essay.
6.5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that adding effects in the advertisement is very necessary. This approach has contributed so much to giving customers an in-depth, objective view of the product. But everything has both negative and positive.
7
band
Some people think that employers should ensure a pleasant working environment so that workers feel valued and will therefore work hard. Others feel that employers should be stricter with employees and monitor them closely to ensure they work hard. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate over how employers should manage their workforce revolves around two contrasting approaches: creating a pleasant working environment versus strict monitoring and control. Both strategies have their proponents and distinct advantages.
7
band
American film actor John Wayne said: "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life." How is it important for individuals and countries to think about the future rather than the present? What’s your opinion?
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent is present and future. there are even people who believe that the most important thing in our life is tomorrow. In the succeeding paragraphs, I am going to discuss the relationship between the future and the present and give my personal perspective further.
6.5
band
Recycling has decreased in the last few years. Why do think that is? What can be done to improve this?
Recycling, once a novel concept 30 years ago, has now evolved into an urgent necessity for our environment. The consequences of ignoring recycling in the coming years will not only impact our future but also that of the next generation. The key to addressing this issue lies in three crucial factors: government policy, culture, and economic effect. By maximizing these factors, we can pave the way for a more sustainable and healthier world.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

American film actor John Wayne said: "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life." How is it important for individuals and countries to think about the future rather than the present? What’s your opinion?

Recycling has decreased in the last few years. Why do think that is? What can be done to improve this?