At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do disadvantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

First of all, there is no doubt in my mind that

this

situation in which teen adults have a great number of existence compared with older' is more beneficial for society. I would like to explain why young nations are more important with my relevant examples.

To begin

with the developments, at the moment, the world we live in needs more innovations to look forward to which from my point of view, the only

people

who can do it are

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

. It is quite hard to change older' thoughts and the most important thing for creation is an open mind which is why old

people

are not able to do it. In fact, they always intend to move the way they know. As for body conditions, younger have more energy to take action. Even elders have a great brain to think really efficiently, unfortunately, they have no power to get those actions done.

For instance

, my grandfather was a wise person with his brilliant ideas but he used to have no ability because of his illness.

Last

but not least, I want to mention about fertilising. Developing countries need more

people

and as you know older are not able to reproduce, they certainly need younger

for

Correct pronoun usage

ones for

show examples

it. More number of

people

means more occupation power and more power means more money for governments. All in all, it seems to me that if we calculate all the pros and cons, I am inclined to believe the advantages of young

people

' are outweigh than disadvantages.

Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on Sun Dec 17 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) are discussed before concluding; only one side is clearly presented here.

introduction and conclusion

Include a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the essay structure and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points and states your position.

supported main points

Work on the development of paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that are fully elaborated and exemplified.

logical structure

Create a more logical flow of ideas by organizing paragraphs and ideas in a way that builds the argument progressively.

coherence

Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the connections between ideas and paragraphs for better readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do disadvantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

With traffic jams and pollution increasing every year in big cities, some people say that public transport should be free in big cities to help reduce these problems which are caused by cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

It is suggested that all young people should undertake a period of unpaid work to help people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people ?