Some people think that money is the best gift to give to youngster while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Under
the
education, children always think that Correct article usage
apply
money
can do everything. While
some thinks
Change the verb form
think
money
is the best gift
to
Change preposition
for
adolescen
, I find it Correct your spelling
adolescent
adolescents
adolescence
disavantages
. Correct your spelling
disadvantages
This
essay will discuss why the benifit
of Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
give
Change the verb form
giving
money
as a gift
to youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
outweigh
the drawback.
On the one hand, the reason why Change the verb form
outweighs
money
is not the best gift
to give to youngster
is that it may give them Add an article
a youngster
the youngster
a
wrong value that Correct article usage
the
money
is their
target of their life. When they have Change the pronoun
the
this
kind of thinking, they will just focus on the money
in the futurer
which will affect their personal development as they won't find their interest that Correct your spelling
future
no
related to Verb problem
is not
money
. However
, the upside of give
Change the verb form
giving
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
money
as a gift
should be
Rephrase
also be
account
Wrong verb form
accounted
also
.
On the onher
hand, Correct your spelling
other
money
is the best gift
to give to give to youngster
is that they can buy things they actually want. When they want to buy something but don't have adequate Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
money
, parents can give them little
amount Correct article usage
a little
money
as Change preposition
of money
their
Change the word
a
gift
so that children have motivation
to complete the task that was given quickly and save the Change the article
the motivation
money
to increase the
purchasing power to achieve the amount of the price of their things that they want to buy. Change the word
their
Finally
, their budget management will improve and get a well saving
Add a hyphen
well-saving
habbit
.
In conclusion, I believe that giving Correct your spelling
habit
money
as a give the
children can enhance their financial management which is Correct article usage
apply
a
Change the article
an
importanr
skill Correct your spelling
important
to
their future so Change preposition
for
a
agree Correct pronoun usage
I
money
is the best gift
to give to youngster
.Submitted by callachan8 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent structure and the ideas presented are not fully developed. You should use more effective topic sentences to start your paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Additionally, try to use a variety of linking words and phrases for better flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the task, though the response is incomplete and lacks depth in the ideas presented, and the position is not clear throughout the essay. Make sure to present a balanced discussion of both views before giving your own opinion. Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the structure of your essay and ensure that the conclusion encapsulates your arguments and states your position clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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