Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The advances in technology give some benefits to our industries. How technology brings advantages to
ads
and makes them easy to launch for kids. However
, more people believe that advertisement has more drawbacks and should be banned. From my point of view, there are several reasons why we should stand for
disagree.
On the one hand, Correct your spelling
or
ads
will make one product more popular. It is acceptable because the aim of the ads
itself is to encourage all people to buy after they watch. It is good for the country because how much the product that already sold will increase the amount of the tax that should be paid by the company. Then
, the tax will be used for positive development in education. For Instance, to provide facilities and accommodation for students.
On the other hand
, some parents
will lose their salary for something that is
present in the ads
. All the parents
will spend more on gadgets or games if their children ask for them. Perhaps some parents
will provide gadgets or games based on the ads
if they have a high salary. However
, it is impossible for parents
with low salaries. For example
, one child asks their parents
for a mobile phone in an advertisement that provides excellent game feature
.
In conclusion, even though Fix the agreement mistake
features
ads
give more drawbacks for the kids. we have to believe that it also
gives some benefit to our country.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The introduction should clearly present your opinion with a thesis statement that responds directly to the question at hand, specifying your stance on whether you agree or disagree.
task achievement
Ensure your body paragraphs support your thesis with specific ideas and examples. The ideas presented need to be developed further with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
Avoid general statements without clear relevance or direct response to the question. Stay focused on how advertising affects children specifically, rather than a broad discussion on the benefits of advertising to the economy.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay requires improvement. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth and logical. Consistently use linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that restates your viewpoint and summarizes the main points made in the essay. It should be a final statement that clearly presents your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical issues that need to be addressed for improved clarity and flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.