IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the government rather than private company. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#research #government #company
Nowadays not only
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, but private companies can
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 some scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 too.
Although
, some people think, that experiments should be carried out and controlled by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 rather than private
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
.
However
, I do not agree with
this
 statement and I will tell why by
telling
Verb problem
talking
show examples
 about
freedom
 of choice and about a limited
budget
. One of the reasons why I do not agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is
freedom
 of choice. If only
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can do
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, it means that humans can not
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 their own
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 which means that they partly
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their
freedom
.
Moreover
,
deprive
Wrong verb form
depriving
show examples
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 of speech is against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international law.
Secondly
,
budget
. Sometimes experiments can cost a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of money, which is much bigger than
money
Correct article usage
the money
show examples
 that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 gives for
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, so
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 them, even if they can solve a huge problem. Meanwhile, some private companies, which are funded by a
billioner
Correct your spelling
billionaire
 and don't have
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
budget
 can carry out it. Lately,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the money of
Correct article usage
a wealth
show examples
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
 person a big issue can be solved and
such
solution
Correct article usage
a solution
show examples
 will be
win-win
Correct article usage
a win-win
show examples
 for everyone, even for
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
To conclude
, I believe that private companies should carry out scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 too, and I can
explane
Correct your spelling
explain
 it
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to speech and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 big
budget
 of corporations.
Submitted by satkalialbina07 on

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Introduction
You should provide a clear introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint. Use a thesis statement to make your position stand out.
Coherence and cohesion
Structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a single point. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Task response
Support your arguments with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points. Broad, unsubstantiated claims weaken your argument.
Conclusion
Make sure to address the task throughout the essay and provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
Lexical resource
Check for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Avoid repetitive language and make use of synonyms. Also, ensure that punctuation is correctly used.
Grammatical range and accuracy
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate your language ability. Simple sentence structures can be improved to show a higher level of English proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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