IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the changes in exports in HK billions between 2009 and 2010.

The table below shows the changes in exports in HK billions between 2009 and 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 table
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 change in percentages for five items
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Equipment, Telecommunication,
Clothes
Use synonyms
, Manufacturing and Metals exports in HK billions from 2009 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 was
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 in 2010 than previous
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, metals
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the
maine
Correct your spelling
main
Maine
export
Use synonyms
throuoght
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
clothes
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the
lest
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
 item of
export
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the total purchase ratio in 2009 was 32%.
While
Linking Words
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 by 6% in next
year
Use synonyms
. Equipment was
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar range with profit
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
1.3
Change preposition
by 1.3
show examples
%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, telecommunication has a significant difference through a
year
Use synonyms
 by 4.8 and it changes
achieve
Add the particle
to achieve
show examples
 61% of
export
Use synonyms
. To comparing between
clothes
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing in 2009 they
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 6% and 5.5% other, next
year
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 decreased
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
%
while
Linking Words
 1.5 in 2010. As you see metals were the significant change percent was 122% in 2009 and 2010
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
2.3 and 5.1 respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words clothes, export, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: