IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The first chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about how many Japanese have had
burning
Correct article usage
a burning
show examples
 desire
for travelling
Change preposition
to travel
show examples
 overseas over a period of 10 years from 1985 to 1995.the second line graph highlighted the number of Japanese
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 would prefer aurorally as their destination. all in
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 what deduce from
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 chart is that Japan's population as time goes have more intention to
tripe
Correct your spelling
trip
show examples
exotic
Change preposition
to exotic
show examples
 countries and
this
Linking Words
 desire is on the sore trend.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Australia
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become more prevalent among these people and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 witnessed an incremental trend in
given
Add an article
a given
show examples
 period of time. If we catch a glimpse
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
 graph, we can be informed that from 1985 to 1990 jalopies tourists travelling aboard have seen a strikingly sore so that stepped up from 5
million
Use synonyms
 to around 11
million
Use synonyms
 . in accordance with
this
Linking Words
 trend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia's share
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 rocketed from 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 1985 to 5
million
Use synonyms
 in 1989.to the respect given chart, in 1991
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 statistics have in fronted by a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 decrease with 10
million
Use synonyms
.
Comparatively
Add a comma
Comparatively,
show examples
 a dramatic but provisional drop accrue in second figures in 1989 with 4
million
Use synonyms
. After 1991 the number of passengers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 journey to exotic
country come
Wrong verb form
countries
show examples
 across temperately
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 and in 1995
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a climax
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
touch
Replace the word
touched
show examples
 a peak with 15
million
Use synonyms
.on
Correct your spelling
On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 end of
spectrum
Add an article
the spectrum
show examples
, the jalopies visitors from Australia
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 encountered
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a substantial surge from just over 4
million
Use synonyms
 to above 6
million
Use synonyms
 between 1989 and 1994 and
finally
Linking Words
 there is a fairly decline to 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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