Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

#children #attention #studies #school

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many primary and secondary education students

are find

Change the verb form

find

show examples

it challenging to focus on lectures at their educational institutes.

This

Linking Words

essays

Fix the agreement mistake

essay

show examples

discusses the causes of

this

Linking Words

development and

also

Linking Words

suggests ways to resolve them. Many pupils cannot maintain concentration at

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

because some of those may have

exisiting

Correct your spelling

existing

medical

conditions

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

it is

also

Linking Words

likely their daily routine is inconducive for learning. I was suffering from ADHD, attention deficit hyperactive syndrome, which is known to distract students easily who often complain about their inability to lose focus for prolonged

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

of time.

Hence

Linking Words

, I believe that it is possible that

such

Linking Words

syndrome may be undiagnosed in many disciplines, which could explain their

lacking

Fix the agreement mistake

lack of

show examples

power of concentration.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, habits that are disruptive,

such

Linking Words

as playing excessive hours on video gaming and spending less time in outdoor

active

Replace the word

activities

show examples

also

Linking Words

contribute to

this

Linking Words

problem.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

challenge can be overcome by increasing awareness. Parents need to be aware

any

Change preposition

of any

show examples

underlying medical

conditions

Use synonyms

so that

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

repercussions

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be averted.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the government can use public infomercials to educate the parents about any health

conditions

Use synonyms

that could undermine their

children'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

ability to concentrate.

As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, an information broadcast aimed at enlightening fathers and mothers about the benefits of exercising and supervising children's screen time,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

as watching cartoons and digital games, could mitigate the problem.

For example

Linking Words

, playing outdoors not only increases dopamine but

also

Linking Words

increases alertness. In conclusion, some medical

conditions

Use synonyms

and bad habits are the main causes of children suffering from a

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Sun Dec 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with incomplete development of ideas. Improve by creating detailed outlines before writing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are incomplete, weakening the overall essay. Ensure both are fully developed to encapsulate the points made.

coherence cohesion

Main points need more support through examples and explanations. Expand on key ideas with specific details for clarity.

task achievement

The response is incomplete, with an abrupt ending. Make sure to address all parts of the task and provide a conclusion that summarizes your position.

task achievement

While you have attempted to communicate your ideas, they lack comprehensiveness and clarity. Strive for well-explained points that are easy to understand.

task achievement

Examples provided are somewhat relevant but not fully developed. Use specific and detailed examples to strengthen your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Concentration
Engagement
Curriculum
Attention span
Learning disorders
Interactive learning
Personalized learning
Supportive learning environment
Mental health
Organizational skills
Educational policy
Mindfulness
Screen time

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter, describe the problems explain how it is affecting people say what the company should do to help
I am writing this email on behalf of all people in Hampshire area as we have been facing with the internet connection probelms since 5 days ago.
5.5
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are contrasting opinions when it comes to working for the same organisation throughout one's career versus switching between different organisations. Obviously, every group of people are searching for more positive than negative factors in their choice such as levelling up the career ladder for one point of view or expanding their professional experience for another point of view. In my opinion, there are merits to both approaches, but I personally believe that gaining different sorts of working experience is a strong plus for everybodies career. In the following essay I would like to discuss some points connected to this topic.
5
band
Some People say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that a key natural issue nowadays is the dying of specific trees and species while others say that there are more vital environmental issues. (This essay will discuss both the given views and I will conclude my opinion at the end of the discussion) 37
<4
band
the amount of shops that closed and opened since 2011 until 2018
The picture illustrates the amount of shops that closed and opened since 2011 until 2018. As we can see, the
4.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One of the discussed issues nowadays is people's health. Some believe that it will be better if governments required more sports facilities. Meanwhile, some do not think it is enough to solve this problem by buildings. This essay will analyse both views and express my opinion.

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

Your opinion

People in your area are having problems with their internet connection. Write a letter to the company which provides the connection. In your letter, describe the problems explain how it is affecting people say what the company should do to help

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some People say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

the amount of shops that closed and opened since 2011 until 2018

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.