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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Modern technology has greatly changed how we work and is of benefit to all societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #work #benefit #societies
The contemporary
Correct article usage
Contemporary
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 state-of-the-art technological tools have revolutionised the way companies
are operating
Wrong verb form
operate
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 which has many positive outcomes
on
Change preposition
for
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 men and women across the world. I completely support
this
 viewpoint because a great number of individuals in the world are working from home,
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 their life satisfaction more than ever before. The major change that technology has brought is that people
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 work outside their office cubicles
due to
 the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
As well as
this
, people can collaborate and work with their peers using
cyberbased
Correct your spelling
cyber-based
cyber based
 tools. Take an example of covid crisis, many companies adapted to
this
 change and
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 their employees
to
Change the verb form
apply
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work remotely in order to maintain social distancing; softwares,
such
 as
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
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 and
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
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, were expansively used for regular meetings and
also
 for team collaboration.
This
 development has benefited our people in various ways.
In addition
 to reclaiming a precious period of daily commute, working
at
Change preposition
in
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 comfort of home is greatly assisting workers to spend less money to travel to workplaces.
This
, in
turn
Add the comma(s)
turn,
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 helps
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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 to experience a better quality of quality because of
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 sense of
self-fulfillment
Change the spelling
self-fulfilment
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, caused by having more time and money to spend on their recreational and social needs. Given the fact that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 is available at relatively affordable prices in each country, I believe that
this
 trend is prevalent in
evey
Correct your spelling
every
 society. In conclusion, I completely agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science has revolutionized the way businesses operate across the world as
evident
Replace the word
evidenced
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 by the latest trend of work-from-home which preserves a consideration exertion and an
essenial
Correct your spelling
essential
 span of professionals. The
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 are
ominpresent
Correct your spelling
omnipresent
 because of the widespread accessibility of the
electronics
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
 network.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Strive to provide clear, relevant examples to support your points. Make sure that these examples clearly connect to the main point of the paragraph and contribute to the overall argument of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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