Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The majority of university students

eager

Add a missing verb

are eager

show examples

to enhance their knowledge

for

Change preposition

show examples

entirely touch their speciality

with

Change preposition

show examples

adding extra fields,

whereas

Linking Words

the others claim that it is more significant to devote their time to only

one

Use synonyms

specific subject for a qualification.

This

Linking Words

essay will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

firstly

Linking Words

disscussed

Correct your spelling

discussed

about the importance level of additional lessons,

then

Linking Words

why students should pay all of their attention to

one

Use synonyms

subject,

Linking Words

finally

Correct word choice

and finally

show examples

finished

Wrong verb form

finish

show examples

with my own opinion. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand,

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

additional subjects can bring some benefits, which can cover all the gaps for the people.

That is

Linking Words

to say, individuals who are doing

one

Use synonyms

specific faculty should

also

Linking Words

interract

Correct your spelling

interact

with the other lessons.

For instance

Linking Words

, in 2008,

Change the article

show examples

interview with businessmen conducted by Tom Michealson

has shown

Wrong verb form

showed

show examples

that

one

Use synonyms

of the businessmen

called

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Elon Musk not only graduated from

enginering

Correct your spelling

engineering

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

studied

programing

Correct your spelling

programming

show examples

in order to create companies.

In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days,

one

Use synonyms

of the companies created by him called Tesla is the top

higher

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

company in the world.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, concentrating only

Use synonyms

one

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct article usage

a spesific

show examples

spesific

Correct your spelling

specific

field,

leading

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

it in a deep way.

In other words

Linking Words

, it is

gratly

Correct your spelling

greatly

essential to emphasize that doing with

one

Use synonyms

main topic may outweigh those who

doing

Change the form of the verb

show examples

other subjects as well.

For example

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research conducted by Cambridge University has shown that 60% of

successed

Correct your spelling

successful

people who did graduate

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

Add an article

the master

show examples

master

Change noun form

master's

show examples

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

post graduate

Add a hyphen

post-graduate

show examples

worked as a CEO of top companies. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are lots of benefits of working on poly subjects, in my perspective, focusing only

Use synonyms

one

Change preposition

on one

show examples

subject can bring more opportunities than the other.

i.nureddinnFri Jan 31 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views and offers an opinion, which is essential for a complete response. However, aim to develop each argument in more depth to make your essay more comprehensive.

task achievement

Try to ensure your examples are relevant and clearly linked to the points being made. Some examples, though relevant, need more explanation to thoroughly support the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay flows logically, but work on connecting ideas more smoothly with transitional phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Make sure all main points are well-supported with evidence and explanations that are fully developed.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the response effectively.

task achievement

The writer attempts to balance both sides of the argument, which is important in a discuss type essay.

task achievement

Good attempt at providing clear examples to support the points, adding strength to the arguments made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
Nowadays, teenagers are spend a most of their time with peers and less time with their families. This happens because of a lack of communication between parents and their teenage children. Instead of the forcing them to spend more time at home with the family, parents should be truly interested in their kids, moreover, they should try to speak more with them about their problems and concerns.
7.5
band
All large companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The local community plays a crucial role in everyone’s life. In the contemporary era, whether giant companies should offer support such as sports and social facilities to society is a topic of debate. There are many reasons why some hold the view that this action should not be encouraged, while others believe that this would benefit the locals. This essay will discuss my opinion on the abovementioned matter before presenting my agreement on the latter.
7.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: ○ Say that you liked their photos of your family ○ Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event ○ Give them the details of the event Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear….
Dear Marina! We have just recieved a folder with photos of our family you sent us two hours ago. I should say: photos are fantastic! Thank’s for your work, I have already changed my profile photo on Facebook.
5
band
Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, individuals have been working in various ways and this has been accepted compared to the past. However, it is still said that working for a large company is better than working for a small one. Although there are both advantages and disadvantages, it is better to work for a large company.
5
band
In many countries today, crime novel and TV crime dramas are becoming more popular. Why do you think are these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?
Criminal content has a wider target audience because of sensations. Although it provides context to certain incidents that people might interested in, sometime it is the root cause behind crimes. In my perspective, censorship is required for broadcasting such content to diminish anxiety and dilemmas among public.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

All large companies should provide sports and social facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree

In many countries today, crime novel and TV crime dramas are becoming more popular. Why do you think are these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?