Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why is this the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is indeed a remarkable phenomenon that many

individuals

Use synonyms

manage to thrive in their personal and professional

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

, despite encountering academic failures during their formative years.

This

Linking Words

paradox can be attributed to various factors, yet I firmly believe that it is one's resilience that ultimately determines their individual achievements. Numerous accomplished

individuals

Use synonyms

have encountered academic challenges for diverse reasons. As is the case with all educational institutions, schools are widely acknowledged for emphasizing theoretical knowledge over practical experience, a characteristic that distinguishes them from real-world situations.

Therefore

Linking Words

, academic failure often stems from a lack of retained information, a scenario

that is

Linking Words

not necessarily replicated in personal or professional settings. A good case in point is my childhood experience when I struggled with academic examinations, particularly in mathematics.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I was able to effectively navigate monetary matters and attain financial stability. In my view, resilience is pivotal in determining one's personal achievements. Without the ability to bounce back from setbacks, overcome adversity, and adapt to unforeseen circumstances,

individuals

Use synonyms

may find it challenging to cope with life's trials, regardless of whether they have excelled academically .

Conversely

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

who possess perseverance and adaptability are adept at managing stress, maintaining a positive mindset, and recovering from difficult experiences.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they are more likely to achieve remarkable success, irrespective of their academic background. Take Elon Musk,

for example

Linking Words

. He has managed to garner immense recognition and made his way in various business domains, despite facing troubles in school or college. In conclusion, academic performance does not usually align with an individual's accomplishments in life.

Instead

Linking Words

, it is resilience that significantly contributes to their success on personal, professional, and financial fronts.

mirhashemim7Mon Dec 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion

While you have presented a clear opinion and concluded your essay with a summative statement, there needs to be a more explicit outline of your position or argument in the introduction. This helps set a clear direction for the essay.

Supporting Main Points

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, which is then developed and supported by specific examples. The paragraph about Elon Musk needs more development and clearer ties to the main point.

Coherence

The essay would benefit from a wider range of cohesive devices. Where possible, vary your language to avoid repetition and use synonyms effectively.

Cohesion

The topic of resilience featured heavily in the latter part of the essay, but could be interspersed earlier to weave a coherent theme throughout.

Task Achievement

The task was addressed quite well; there is a clear response to the prompts. However, the ideas could be expanded with more varied examples and a full exploration of both prompts.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Your city is planning to develop new sports complex. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have built in that area. Athletic tracks and supports Complex: Sports complex will mainly provide facilities to Athletes.
It goes without saying that our phisical health is needed to be enhanced regularly. That's why my choice includes the construction of different athletic gizmos inside the complex instead of a place for games observing. Moreover, I am capable to develop this idea describing pros and cons.
7
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
An array of masses argue that people who are doing professional jobs such as doctors and engineers overseas must remain in those countries and devote their abilities because it is their responsibility to the place they are given academic knowledge while others say that they have the freedom of choices to choose the place to work. In my opinion, both of the views have its right and need to be decided carefully.
5
band
Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give you own opinion
People have different views on the goals and functions of museums. In my opinion, a successful museum should be both interesting and educational.
5
band
The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Prioritising education for younger generation is universally acknowledged, with countries investing significant resources in this endeavour. While educating adults who lack basic literacy skills is important, diverting more financial resources towards this cause may not be the most effective strategy. In this essay, I will argue against the notion that educating adult illeterate is more important, and government should allocate additional funds to the education of the adults who cannot read or write.
5.5
band
Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Social media has a major contribution for the people to communicate with each other. Around the world, many people are using social media to keep their communication with other people and get the news. In this essay we are going to see the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media.

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why is this the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

Your opinion

Your city is planning to develop new sports complex. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have built in that area. Athletic tracks and supports Complex: Sports complex will mainly provide facilities to Athletes.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.Discuss both views and give you own opinion

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.