There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is stated that strict laws should be implemented
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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whom
Correct word choice
when

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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taking
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb picture. Consider changing it.

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of people under eighteen
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

due
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to protect entertainers'
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or young
artists
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will provide
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points

It seems that point may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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agree or disagree with
mentioned
Add an article
the mentioned

The noun phrase mentioned notion seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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notion. First of all, young public figures
are
Verb problem
do

There may be a verb use issue here.

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not consent and inadequately
realized
Wrong verb form
realise

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb realized. Consider changing it.

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their situation facing
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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fame so it is
imposibble
Correct your spelling
impossible

If you don’t want imposibble to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for them to experience and endure the massive exposure from
media
Correct article usage
the media

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. Strict laws are necessary to prevent uncivilized or unprotected photographs that can be
exploitated
Correct your spelling
exploited

If you don’t want exploitated to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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from taking underage
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, one cute little photo of public figures'
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be spread online and used as a fetish tool for pedophils which can increase their sexual desire for underage
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue is strongly sensitive
that
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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forced the stakeholders to take action
upon
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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its prevention.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

celebrities'
Correct word choice
and celebrities'

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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safety
are in
Verb problem
is

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a risk if apply condition is continued.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some creepy human being will
abducted
Change the verb form
abduct

The verb abducted after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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them and
using
Wrong verb form
use

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb using. Consider changing it.

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them as a threat weapon for their parents who are famous
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation will make the professional job like
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

did
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb did appears to be unnecessary here.

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not get
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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enough insurance from society. Meanwhile, some entertainers are
willingly
Change the word
willing

Willingly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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to share their
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

' private lives and
considerate
Replace the word
consider

The word considerate doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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it as a part of their
family
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family's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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consequences. The issue of random folks taking their
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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pictures is not that frightening for them.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they did not voluntarily need a strict law
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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banning
public
Correct article usage
the public

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to give
Change preposition
from giving

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their family exposure. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation, adding specific rules for randomly taking photos of young
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or entertainers is not necessary because adults are already giving their
permition
Correct your spelling
permission

If you don’t want permition to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, providing tight rules for preventing human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings

It seems that being may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
take
Wrong verb form
from taking

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb take. Consider changing it.

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pictures of young
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
celebrities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

'
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is necessary for protecting
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from public exploitation and to ensure their security. It is okay to not
adding
Wrong verb form
add

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb adding. Consider changing it.

show examples
strict laws for it as long as their parents are
willingly
Change the word
willing

Willingly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
expose
Fix the infinitive
to expose

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
their
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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logical structure
The essay shows an inconsistent logical structure, with ideas being presented without clear transitions or logical sequence in some parts. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supportive sentences that expand upon that idea coherently.
introduction conclusion present
An introduction and conclusion are present but are not effectively framed. The introduction does not adequately paraphrase the question or present a clear thesis, and the conclusion does not effectively summarise the main points or provide a conclusive statement. Refinement of these paragraphs will enhance the essay's effectiveness.
supported main points
Main points are presented, but they require development and more substantial support to strengthen the argument. Including detailed examples and clearer explanations will provide a more persuasive argument.
complete response
While the essay addresses the topic, the response is not fully developed and lacks depth. Ideas are not fully extended with clear comprehensive solutions or analysis that would showcase a thorough understanding of the topic. To improve, aim for more detailed development of ideas and a clearer argumentative stance throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are presented but are not always clear or comprehensive, which hinders the effectiveness of the essay. For improvement, focus on presenting ideas in a clearer, more direct manner, ensuring each idea is fully explained and tied back to the essay question.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples are provided but are not always relevant or effectively used to support the main points. To enhance the essay, include more focused and relevant examples that directly support the argument and show a more precise application of the ideas discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incessant media attention
  • Right to privacy
  • Detrimental effect
  • Exploitation and misuse
  • Formidable deterrent
  • Positive example
  • Regulating the actions
  • Digital footprint
  • Unauthorized sharing
  • Mental health
  • Paparazzi
  • Celebrities' children
  • Legal protection
  • Psychological impact
What to do next:
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