There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is stated that strict laws should be implemented
to
Change preposition
apply
whom
taking Correct word choice
when
picture
of people under eighteen Change the form of the verb
pictures
due
to protect entertainers' Change preposition
apply
children
or young artists
. This
essay will provide to
some Change preposition
apply
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
i
agree or disagree with Change the capitalization
I
mentioned
notion.
First of all, young public figures Add an article
the mentioned
are
not consent and inadequately Verb problem
do
realized
their situation facing Wrong verb form
realise
the
fame so it is Correct article usage
apply
imposibble
for them to experience and endure the massive exposure from Correct your spelling
impossible
media
. Strict laws are necessary to prevent uncivilized or unprotected photographs that can be Correct article usage
the media
exploitated
by Correct your spelling
exploited
public
from taking underage Add an article
the public
celebrities
. For example
, one cute little photo of public figures' kids
can be spread online and used as a fetish tool for pedophils which can increase their sexual desire for underage artists
. This
issue is strongly sensitive that
forced the stakeholders to take action Correct word choice
and
upon
its prevention. Change preposition
on
In addition
, Children
celebrities'
safety Correct word choice
and celebrities'
are in
a risk if apply condition is continued. Verb problem
is
Then
, some creepy human being will abducted
them and Change the verb form
abduct
using
them as a threat weapon for their parents who are famous Wrong verb form
use
artists
. This
situation will make the professional job like artists
did
not get Unnecessary verb
apply
their
enough insurance from society.
Meanwhile, some entertainers are Correct pronoun usage
apply
willingly
to share their Change the word
willing
kids
' private lives and considerate
it as a part of their Replace the word
consider
family
consequences. The issue of random folks taking their Change noun form
family's
children
pictures is not that frightening for them. Change noun form
children's
In addition
, they did not voluntarily need a strict law from
banning Change preposition
apply
public
Correct article usage
the public
to give
their family exposure. In Change preposition
from giving
this
situation, adding specific rules for randomly taking photos of young celebrities
or entertainers is not necessary because adults are already giving their permition
.
Correct your spelling
permission
To sum up
, providing tight rules for preventing human being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
take
pictures of young Wrong verb form
from taking
artists
or celebrities
' children
is necessary for protecting kids
from public exploitation and to ensure their security. It is okay to not adding
strict laws for it as long as their parents are Wrong verb form
add
willingly
Change the word
willing
expose
their Fix the infinitive
to expose
kids
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
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complete response
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Specific examples are provided but are not always relevant or effectively used to support the main points. To enhance the essay, include more focused and relevant examples that directly support the argument and show a more precise application of the ideas discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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