There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is stated that strict laws should be implemented

Change preposition

apply

show examples

whom

Correct word choice

when

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taking

picture

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pictures

show examples

of people under eighteen

Linking Words

due

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apply

show examples

to protect entertainers'

children

Use synonyms

or young

artists

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This

Linking Words

essay will provide

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apply

show examples

some

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

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agree or disagree with

mentioned

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the mentioned

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notion. First of all, young public figures

are

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not consent and inadequately

realized

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realise

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their situation facing

the

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apply

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fame so it is

imposibble

Correct your spelling

impossible

for them to experience and endure the massive exposure from

media

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the media

show examples

. Strict laws are necessary to prevent uncivilized or unprotected photographs that can be

exploitated

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exploited

public

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the public

show examples

from taking underage

celebrities

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For example

Linking Words

, one cute little photo of public figures'

kids

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can be spread online and used as a fetish tool for pedophils which can increase their sexual desire for underage

artists

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This

Linking Words

issue is strongly sensitive

that

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and

show examples

forced the stakeholders to take action

upon

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its prevention.

In addition

Linking Words

Children

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celebrities'

Correct word choice

and celebrities'

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safety

are in

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a risk if apply condition is continued.

Then

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, some creepy human being will

abducted

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abduct

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them and

using

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use

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them as a threat weapon for their parents who are famous

artists

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This

Linking Words

situation will make the professional job like

artists

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did

Unnecessary verb

apply

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not get

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

enough insurance from society. Meanwhile, some entertainers are

willingly

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willing

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to share their

kids

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' private lives and

considerate

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consider

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it as a part of their

family

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family's

show examples

consequences. The issue of random folks taking their

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children

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children's

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pictures is not that frightening for them.

In addition

Linking Words

, they did not voluntarily need a strict law

from

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apply

show examples

banning

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

to give

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from giving

show examples

their family exposure. In

this

Linking Words

situation, adding specific rules for randomly taking photos of young

celebrities

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or entertainers is not necessary because adults are already giving their

permition

Correct your spelling

permission

To sum up

Linking Words

, providing tight rules for preventing human

being

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beings

show examples

take

Wrong verb form

from taking

show examples

pictures of young

artists

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celebrities

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children

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is necessary for protecting

kids

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from public exploitation and to ensure their security. It is okay to not

adding

Wrong verb form

add

show examples

strict laws for it as long as their parents are

willingly

Change the word

willing

show examples

expose

Fix the infinitive

to expose

show examples

their

kids

Use synonyms

ru.kabiru.biruMon Dec 18 2023

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logical structure

The essay shows an inconsistent logical structure, with ideas being presented without clear transitions or logical sequence in some parts. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supportive sentences that expand upon that idea coherently.

introduction conclusion present

An introduction and conclusion are present but are not effectively framed. The introduction does not adequately paraphrase the question or present a clear thesis, and the conclusion does not effectively summarise the main points or provide a conclusive statement. Refinement of these paragraphs will enhance the essay's effectiveness.

supported main points

Main points are presented, but they require development and more substantial support to strengthen the argument. Including detailed examples and clearer explanations will provide a more persuasive argument.

complete response

While the essay addresses the topic, the response is not fully developed and lacks depth. Ideas are not fully extended with clear comprehensive solutions or analysis that would showcase a thorough understanding of the topic. To improve, aim for more detailed development of ideas and a clearer argumentative stance throughout the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas are presented but are not always clear or comprehensive, which hinders the effectiveness of the essay. For improvement, focus on presenting ideas in a clearer, more direct manner, ensuring each idea is fully explained and tied back to the essay question.

relevant specific examples

Specific examples are provided but are not always relevant or effectively used to support the main points. To enhance the essay, include more focused and relevant examples that directly support the argument and show a more precise application of the ideas discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Incessant media attention
Right to privacy
Detrimental effect
Exploitation and misuse
Formidable deterrent
Positive example
Regulating the actions
Digital footprint
Unauthorized sharing
Mental health
Paparazzi
Celebrities' children
Legal protection
Psychological impact

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There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days, many children have difficulty paying attention and concentrating in their classes at school. What are the reasons for this? How can it be deal with ?

You recently sent some documents by post, but they did not arrive at the destination. Write a letter to the post office manager. In your letter, •give details of the situation •describe the documents •say what action you want the post office to take