Some people believe that it is good to share as uch information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #uch #information #research #business #world

There is no doubt that scientific research should be

advancement

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

for the business and academic world.

While

some people believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

should be shared

free

Replace the word

freely

show examples

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

business and

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

, others argue that

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some vital

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

should be restricted to

Wrong verb form

shared

show examples

freely. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

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I will discuss

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both views and explain my support for the former view. The people who believe the latter view argue that the scientific researches are results of

Correct article usage

show examples

hardwork scientific community and they should be paid for the information. The

reaseach

Correct your spelling

research

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

enumerous

Correct your spelling

enormous

funding and years

long

Correct word choice

year-long

show examples

process,

therefore

, free sharing of information might

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the commitment of the scientists.

For example

, the discovery of new vaccines

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

immense

Correct article usage

an immense

show examples

amount and the free sharing

Change preposition

of informations

show examples

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

will

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the financial stability of the organisations

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they will not be financially capable

Change preposition

show examples

further

research.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Mon Dec 18 2023

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task achievement

You have attempted to present both views on the topic of information sharing in research and business, yet your essay lacks a clear conclusion that summarises the discussion and clearly states your own opinion. Including a conclusion can significantly improve your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Your essay does present a logical progression of ideas; however, the coherence could be greatly improved by better organizing your thoughts into clear paragraphs and using a wider range of cohesive devices. Remember that paragraphs should have one central idea each, and transitions need to clearly connect your ideas.

task achievement

While you provided an example (discovery of vaccines), it was not fully developed. To improve your score, make sure to elaborate on your examples and clearly link them to your main argument. Concrete and relevant examples contribute significantly to a higher score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

148 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is good to share as uch information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??

Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players. Others think that success depends more on the team’s mental strength. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.