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The tv and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous.Is this a positive or a negative development?

#tv #internet #opportunity #people #development
The
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 and the internet supply
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
usual
Correct word choice
normal
show examples
people
 to become
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
popular.I think it is a positive development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because you will earn more money and
people
 will be interested in you and admire you for
such
 success. Popularity allows you to earn a lot of money. You can afford anything at any time, you will depend on anyone for money.
For example
,
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
 are not in the mood or mentally and physically tired, you want to take a break from all the buzz and you can just buy a vacation ticket for
border
Correct article usage
the border
show examples
 or at any time you can afford branded items that will cost you like pennies,
this
 is one of the best reasons for popularity. The second reason why being popular is good is that you are recognized everywhere and looking at you they
also
 want to achieve
this
 and set a goal,
that is
, you are like an idol
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
For example
, now there are a lot of successful
people
 who achieved on their own from scratch and young
people
 who study and are interested in them, that in the future they will be just as successful and popular, by the way, there are
such
people
 in life, they set goals and reach
such
 heights. In conclusion, being popular is positive,
firstly
 you won’t depend on anyone financially and
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
show examples
people
 will admire you, preferring to be similar or like you I think there are no negative phenomena in
this
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Introduction
Ensure that you start with a clear introduction that presents the topic and your overall opinion in a more structured manner. A thesis statement is necessary to guide the reader.
Language Use
Avoid informal language and colloquial expressions in formal essays. Use proper grammatical structures instead of phrases like "you will depend on anyone for money," which should be corrected to something like "you will not be dependent on anyone for money".
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion. Make sure it is distinct from the introduction and adds finality to the essay.
Coherence
To improve coherence, make sure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that indicate the main idea, and every subsequent sentence should support that idea cohesively.
Cohesion
Incorporate a range of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'As a result' for better flow between sentences and ideas.
Task Response
For a complete response, fully address the prompt by discussing both positive and negative developments related to the topic, as the question asks for your opinion on whether it's a positive or negative phenomenon.
Examples
Support your main points with well-developed examples. Aim to provide specific instances or case studies that can underline your arguments effectively.
Idea Development
When discussing the points, make sure they are clear and extended. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and extensively elaborate on that idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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