IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chat below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.

#bar #chat #hours #week #teenagers #activities #chester
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The bar chart illustrates the
hours
teenagers
 used to spend per week from the
year
 2002 to 2007. Most of the time was spent watching television and DVDs,
whereas
 only a few
hours
 were spent bowling.
Overall
, it can be seen that
teenagers
 used to love watching television in the
year
 2007, followed by watching DVDs and going to pubs/discos. The data on shopping from 2002 to 2007 reflects that the trend of shopping gradually increased from 6
hours
 to 15
hours
 in 2006 and remained constant until 2007.
Teenagers
 seemed to be less occupied with bowling activity;
also
, the
hours
 spent on bowling declined from 4
hours
 in 2002 to less than 1 hour in 2007. The number of
hours
teenagers
 used to spend on sports fell dramatically from 10
hours
 to less than 5
hours
 in the
year
 2007.
Overall
, it can be seen that
teenagers
 used to love watching television in the
year
 2007, followed by watching DVDs and going to pubs/discos. The data on shopping from 2002 to 2007 reflects that the trend of shopping gradually increased from 6
hours
 to 15
hours
 in 2006 and remained constant until 2007.
Teenagers
 seemed to be less occupied with bowling activity;
also
, the
hours
 spent on bowling declined from 4
hours
 in 2002 to less than 1 hour in 2007. The number of
hours
teenagers
 used to spend on sports fell dramatically from 10
hours
 to less than 5
hours
 in the
year
 2007.
Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on

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task achievement
Try to avoid repetition in your essay. For example, the paragraph about television viewing habits is repeated.
task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed comparison and contrast between the activities over the years. This can enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the logical flow of your essay is clear by connecting sentences smoothly. Transition words can help in achieving this.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points covered.
support
Your main points are generally well-supported with specific data from the chart.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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