An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

A wide array of men and women

did

Verb problem

had

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an operation to make their

face

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faces

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more beautiful. The main reason why numerous people do

surgery

is that the person’s

look

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looks

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can influence

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apply

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such

areas as

workplace

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the workplace

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relationship

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relationships

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and

friendship

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friendships

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. I think that it is a beneficial decision

due to

the fact that cosmetic changes increase confidence and self-sufficiency.

However

, it

also

has a beneficial impact

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show examples

everyone

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everyone's

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life.

Firstly

due to

the appearance, you can identify the level of trust

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show examples

this

person. Essentially, the first impression consists of

same

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the same

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criteria of trust and how you look owing to

this

fact an employee can lose his workplace

thus

individuals do

surgery

interventions.

For instance

, in

Japan

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Japan,

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more than 76% of

nation

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the nation

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did a cosmetic intervention

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for

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various ages

due to

the fact that it has feedback

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show examples

their career.

Secondly

, individuals do

Add an article

the operation

an operation

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operation

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operations

show examples

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at in

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in earl

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an early

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age to find a wife.

Thus

, it is the main reason why teenagers want to be prettier. Adolescents are considered incomplete and unconfident to resolve

this

problem, they apply to operations.

For instance

, in

Japan

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Japan,

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it is normalized that parents give their children

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apply

show examples

surgery

to improve future relationships with society and help them find an excellent pair. In conclusion, cosmetic interventions have an advantageous impact on life in numerous areas of life. A wide array of people

everyday

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every day

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make

surgery

for various

purpose

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purposes

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. It has a significant advancement in career and

relation

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relations

show examples

Moreover

, it raises the inner power of a person that leads to

the

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show examples

better future.

Submitted by acaitaz on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score in the coherence and cohesion criterion, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that further develop the idea. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly, which will enhance the overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully respond to all aspects of the prompt. Your essay should include a clear position in response to the question posed, and you should consistently maintain and support this position throughout the essay with relevant examples and detailed explanations. Your response must reflect the complexity of the question by addressing both why people choose to have cosmetic surgery and whether this is a positive or negative development.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Idealized beauty standards
Cosmetic surgery
Advancements in medical technology
Socially acceptable
Self-improvement
Psychological well-being
Competitive workforce
Youthful appearance
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Physical appearance

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it ?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that ast lessons such as painting and drawing lessons should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the differences between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?