Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would have limit effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Public
health
is one of major
Correct article usage
the major
concern
that a country should be awareFix the agreement mistake
concerns
.
Society believe that Change preposition
of.
rising
the development of Verb problem
apply
sport
facilities
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
as
one method to make a better public Change preposition
apply
health
. Meanwhile, some individuals argue that idea
was not fully effective and should be supported by some method. In Correct article usage
the idea
this
essay, i
will discuss my Change the capitalization
I
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
about
those ideas and give some Change preposition
on
opinion
.
The initial Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
idea
think
that Verb problem
is
by
increasing Change preposition
apply
more
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
sport
facilities
, could impact public health
to
Change preposition
in
positive
way. Correct article usage
a positive
However
, with
more Correct word choice
apply
sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
do not mean that all citizen
will Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
used
Change the verb form
use
be used
and
not Correct pronoun usage
them and
give
any direct impact Verb problem
have
to
the growth of Change preposition
on
public
Correct article usage
the public
health
rate. Government
has a big responsibility toward this
, more real action direcly
to Correct your spelling
directly
public
will be more effective and efficient. To illustrate, to boost public Add an article
the public
health
, government
could make a massive campaign of the side Add an article
the government
effect
of smoking. The action should be taken through an active movement Fix the agreement mistake
effects
such
as socialization to public
, Add an article
the public
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
cigarette
tax and expanding the prohibited areas for smoking. Those actions could decrease the figure of Add an article
the cigarette
active
Add an article
the active
an active
smoker
and prevent Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
cronic
disease Correct your spelling
chronic
as a result
.
The latest opinion, to convince the effectivity of some approach
for Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
improve
Change the verb form
improving
the
public Correct article usage
apply
health
should be supported by quantitative measurement. After the government
plan and implement their project related to public health
, they should make an evaluation to quantify. Survey
can Fix the agreement mistake
Surveys
be consider
as tools to use. Change the verb form
be considered
Thus
, the number
for public Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
health
are reliable. For instance
, after government
Correct article usage
the government
done
the socializationAdd the auxiliary verb
did
has done
done
, it is necessary Unnecessary verb
apply
for monitored
the Change preposition
to monitor
habit
of a Fix the agreement mistake
habits
societly
in Correct your spelling
society
certain
period. Add an article
a certain
Then
, after that
a survey through interview or paper-based should be taken to support the data.
In conclusion, Add a comma
that,
while
the approach to improve sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
is a good idea
for improve
public Change the form of the verb
improving
health
, it should be supported by another more active method and measurement to assured
. Verb problem
ensure
Therefore
, in balance, I remain firmly convince
that the Change the form of the verb
convinced
idea
of build
more Change the verb form
building
sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
should be reconsidered.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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structure
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Ideas should be presented in a clear manner, use paragraphs effectively, and each paragraph should introduce one main idea and develop it comprehensively.
introduction/conclusion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are present and they are clearly stated, reflecting the overall position taken in the essay.
development
Develop your main points with relevant supporting details. Use examples effectively to convey clear and comprehensive ideas.
completeness
While you have attempted to address the task and discuss both views, your response seems incomplete as the examples and arguments provided are not fully elaborated.
clarity
Some ideas are not explained clearly and confidently, which could confuse the reader. Aim for a clear development of your ideas and express them with certainty to ensure that your position is well-understood.
examples
Include specific examples when discussing the methods and measures related to public health in order to illustrate your points more convincingly.