IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree?

#media #influence #consumers
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There is no doubt that these days advertisements on social media it is fundamental, the question is how marketing can affect
on
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customers and buyer , In
this
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 essay I will write about the social media phenomenon . In terms of advantages ,Artificial intelligence is eventually incorporated with social media and is used in advertising that helps the shoppers to search for any
product
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 after that they will show many related advertisements about the
product
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 they are searching for
it
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and that helps the users to find and compare the many sources of
product
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 . The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that the advert encourages the customer to buy many things and and design of the adverts catches the eyes of the buyer ,to illustrate artificial intelligence helps shoppers find a lot of sources of the
product
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 to help the choice a good
product
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 and perfect price .
However
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, the adverts encourage
make
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the customer to buy the
product
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 faster without any idea about the quality of the
product
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 and thinking if they need it or not . in conclusion , evidence suggests many
of
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consumers are between 20 to 40 , so they lose their money at the beginning of their lives
due to
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 the increasing and overcrowding of advertising .
Submitted by dalal7almalki7 on

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Task Achievement
In task achievement, your response only partially addresses the prompt regarding the extent of the agreement or disagreement with the influence of social media marketing on consumer purchases. You should explicitly state your position and extend your ideas with relevant examples to fully cover the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of the essay are lacking. It is important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea. You should use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas across the essay. Your introduction and conclusion require clear thesis statements and summaries of your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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