Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over the past few decades, the role of
the
advertisement has been indispensable, and a staggering amount of advertising is aimed at youngsters. Correct article usage
apply
Due to
that, is it highly argued by some groups of individuals that this
could be detrimental to youths and should be prohibited, which I completely agree with.
To commence with, advertising campaigns that consider the child as their target market are significantly harmful. First and foremost, this
age group cannot distinguish between right and wrong and requires parental guidance, they might find everything in advertisements trustworthy. Nonetheless
, by setting no boundaries dangerous ramifications might be inevitable, such
as using a knife as a tool to play. Secondly
, children might be triggered more easily, thus
bombarded by a vast number of advertisements undoubtedly would prevent the development in numerous areas of lives
, Fix the agreement mistake
life
such
as education. For instance
, a child would be influenced by a video game ad and not only dedicate his time to it instead
of studying his curriculum but also
damage his eyesight by playing too much. Recent research suggests that the percentage of violented behaviour such
as committing to
crimes, or bullying peers at schools dramatically increased in children playing action video games.
In a nutshell, the necessities Change preposition
apply
along with
the attitudes and aptitudes connected to the topic clarified above, illustrate, that advertising campaigns would have threatening consequences for the young generation, and people may vary in their point of view regarding this
issue, albeit on a more personal level I declare this
scenario has many demerits and this
trend should be prohibit.Submitted by maryam.niknamm on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear and logical structure, with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. It is recommended to organize ideas clearly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with relevant supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, ensure that they are fully developed and clearly restate your main argument. Your introduction should more concisely preview the points you will make, and your conclusion should summarize the key ideas presented without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to expand your main points with clear examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, they need to be more detailed, relevant, and accurately linked to the argument you are making to strengthen the impact of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, providing clear ideas and opinion on the topic, which is commendable. However, the arguments would benefit from being more meticulously examined to ensure that a full response to the question is given throughout the essay, not just in a contained section.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant but ensure they are clearly articulated and well-explained. Some ideas could be further developed to add depth to your argument, ensuring a comprehensive discussion that demonstrates an extensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Employ specific examples that directly relate to your arguments. The use of general or vague examples weakens your argument. Examples should be clear, relevant, and used to effectively support your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.