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Band 4.5

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#years #people #e-books #paper #books
Nowadays, many people
are prefering
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
e-
books
 rathen than paper
books
 in
this
 essay we will discuss the way of advantages outweigh the disadvantages and
lastly
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will conclude with my opinion.
To begin
 with, Drawbacks are after the internet's phenomenal growth many of them do every work online and like students asking doubts to teachers rather than searching on YouTube.Many of them wear glasses because of the screen time using phones and laptops for so many hours.
For example
, after the covid19 many of them read
books
 in
e-
books
. Because of
this
 many of them not learning in paper
books
.
Additionally
, the cost of
books
 and cost of delivery and many more costs
while
 reading printed
books
.
Secondly
,
Positive
Correct article usage
the Positive
show examples
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
 is it is very easy to read if I need to read a book
while
 I am travelling it is very uncomfortable. If I have an e-book it is capable for me to read. Many of them can't
affordable
Replace the word
afford
show examples
 to buy
books
. If the person uses the phone in the right way to read eye problems will not occur.
For example
, raise of growth in
e-
books
 increasing yearly most of them are youngsters.
While
 using
e-
books
 easily zoom in and zoom out if I don't know the meaning of a word I can copy that and easily paste
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
 Google. As I conclude the pros and cons of
e-
books
 rather than paper
books
 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I personally do
e-
books
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 many advantages like cost, accessibility user and many more.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherent logical structure, making it difficult to follow the argument clearly. Try organizing ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs, each with a clear main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on crafting a clear introduction and conclusion as they are underdeveloped. The introduction should paraphrase the question and state your opinion, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be expanded upon with explanations and examples. Focus on developing individual paragraphs around one central idea, supported by specific evidence or examples.
task achievement
The essay didn't fully achieve the task because the response was incomplete and ideas weren't clear or comprehensive. Work on addressing the task by discussing both sides — advantages and disadvantages of e-books — thoroughly and evenly.
task achievement
Introduce clear and comprehensive ideas, ensuring each paragraph conveys a focused argument relating to the prompt question. Aim to provide a balanced discussion that weighs BOTH advantages AND disadvantages equally.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This adds credibility and depth to your essay. Make sure each paragraph contains an example that clearly illustrates the point you are attempting to make.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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