IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that online education is a convenient and effective alternative to traditional classroom learning, while others argue that it lacks important aspects of face-to-face interaction. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no one denying the fact that
education
Use synonyms
 is a significant factor in our lives.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that online learning is a convenient and effective alternative to traditional
classroom
Use synonyms
 learning, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument which says that it lacks crucial aspects of face-to-face interaction. On the one hand, some individuals consider that online learning is a convenient and effective approach
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it includes many tools which help teachers to ensure that students understand the subjects which they study at school.
In other words
Linking Words
, it can be very helpful to combine the joy of games with learning as in coding games.
In addition
Linking Words
, online
education
Use synonyms
 offers many benefits
such
Linking Words
 as studying anywhere and anytime and ease
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 access.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted in Japan shows that 98% of people prefer online
education
Use synonyms
 rather than traditional
classroom
Use synonyms
 learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that traditional
classroom
Use synonyms
 learning is a good approach. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that traditional program learning allows students to interact with each other actively, which helps them to build relationships.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 approach to
education
Use synonyms
 provides many positive aspects
such
Linking Words
 as helping young people to become disciplined,
active
Correct word choice
and active
show examples
 with others in the same age category and gives opportunity to develop communication skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study conducted in Saudi Arabia shows that 75% of children develop communication skills through interacting with other children in the same age category in schools. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that we should combine traditional
classroom
Use synonyms
 and online learning to get the benefits of these two approaches.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. In some areas, your main points could be elaborated further for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your ideas more smoothly, perhaps by using a wider variety of linking words or phrases.
task achievement
In the introduction, incorporate a brief definition of online learning and classroom learning to set the context for readers.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument clearly, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
task achievement
Your examples from surveys and studies were relevant and support your points well, showing good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: