There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages of having a small family outweigh the disadvantages?
It is becoming increasingly common for people to have a nuclear family. In
this
essay, I will explain why the benefits
of having a small family overshadow the potential drawbacks.
On the one hand, having a few members in the family could pose some drawbacks. The two main disadvantages are it requires bigger space and the higher spending. Firstly
, with all of the members occupying their house, the more people in the family, the bigger size
needed to fulfil the bodies. Correct article usage
the size
Secondly
, there will be a significant increase in the amount of spending for their daily life
. For instance
, with two or more children, the expenditure of the partner is usually doubled for things such
as food and clothes.
On the other hand
, having a small family tree offers certain benefits
. To begin
, a tiny family means that parents only control fewer things which results in a simple life
. To illustrate, a family with one child only fully focus on taking care of their son or daughter and the effort is only once in a lifetime. It is easier for them to stabilize their responsibility in the house and in the office. The other advantage is the small members require less amount of money. This
means that they can save more money to prepare their children for better education or to reach their financial independence before retirement which will benefits
not only the parents but Change the verb form
benefit
also
the children. Thus
, these merits lead the family to a happy life
.
In conclusion, although
having a small family could potentially have disadvantages such
as larger space and more money required, it has unquestioned advantages like simple life
and cheaper expenditure. Therefore
, in balance, I remain firmly convinced that these benefits
outweigh its
drawbacks.Correct pronoun usage
their
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure clarity when discussing advantages and disadvantages, avoiding mixed messaging within the same paragraph.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mentioned the benefits of having a small family, concrete examples would enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review the structure of your argument to avoid confusion. For instance, the disadvantages mentioned seem to contradict common assumptions, suggesting that larger families require more space and resources, not smaller ones.
Task Achievement
Be careful with general statements and make sure they align with the argument. For example, referencing higher spending and bigger space required seems to be inaccurately applied to smaller families.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your position on the topic.
Logical Structure
You made an effort to structure the essay logically, dividing it into sections that introduce both the disadvantages and advantages of small families.
Supported Main Points
You attempted to support your points with examples and reasoning, which is the right approach to building a persuasive argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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