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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the numbers of people per household in 1990 and 2000 in New Zealand.

The charts below show the numbers of people per household in 1990 and 2000 in New Zealand.
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A glance at the two pie charts provided reveals a stark comparison of the rate of household members in New Zealand between 1990 and 2000. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 perspective, it is evident that the most remarkable proportions of that for 1990 belonged to 2
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, 3
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 took up the first rank proportions of that for the year 2000. One person in 2000 was eight times as much as
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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in the previous ten years. In terms of the first chart in 1990, no other proportions were as high as 2
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which accounted for 31%, followed by 3
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, with 21%. Meanwhile, 6
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 made up the least significant number with 6%. There was a similar percentage in 1 person and 4
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, with 14%. At the same time, 5
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 accounted for 8%. With regard to the second chart, an overwhelming majority of 3
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with 35%. At the opposite end of the scale, the trivial part constituted
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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1 person with 2%.
On the contrary
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the second most noticeable proportion of 2
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with 31%. The others can be grouped into
ranger
Fix the agreement mistake
rangers

It seems that ranger may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 from 3% to 16%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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