Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
It is often argued by some that extreme
sport
activities Change the noun form
sports
such
as rock
climbing and sky-diving must be stopped for good. I completely disagree with this
opinion and think that these sports
not only give people a thrilling experience
but also
provide livelihood
to many professionals.
Add an article
a livelihood
Firstly
, I believe that the tradition of adventure
sports
such
as rock
climbing and sky-diving should be kept alive. In other words
, these activities give participants an opportunity to experience
something that is
not only surreal but also
breathtaking. For instance
, people who have fear
of heights can try tandem skydiving where they would be with a master skydiver. Correct article usage
a fear
This
would not only help a person overcome their fears,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
provide them a
Add the preposition
with a
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
experience
of jumping from an aircraft 25, 000 feet above sea level. Moreover
, rock
climbing sport
is a lifelong hobby of many who love outdoor adventures. To them
Add a comma
them,
this
sport
is a way to escape the chaos of daily routine and enjoy their lone time by climbing cliffs. Some even say that this
is their way of meditating. By doing this
sport
every week, they can get a break from their stressful work life and prepare themselves for the coming week
Secondly
, I believe that adventure
sports
should not be banned as it provides livelihood to many professionals out there. In order to become a professional sky-dive master or a rock
climbing specialist, people have to go through rigorous and intense training sessions putting in numerous hours of hard work day and night. Since these sports
are a passion for many, they would start training from early childhood to become certified experts in these sports
. If at all after years of dedication these sports
are banned, it would definitely affect their livelihood. In addition
, these certified experts know all about safety precautions that should be taken in order to give one a memorable experience
. Thus
, banning these sports
would not only affect their morale,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
drive them to poverty.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that adventure
sports
should not be banned as they provide individuals an
unforgettable Add the preposition
with an
experience
which gives them an adrenaline rush and helps them overcome their fears. Also
, banning these sports
will ruin the life and career of adventure
sports
professionals.Submitted by ina1_95 on
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introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the thesis and directly addresses the prompt. Present your opinion in a clear and direct manner, without ambiguity.
logical structure
Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations, examples, and supporting details to reinforce your point. Make sure that the information flows logically from one idea to the next.
conclusion
End the essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position, ensuring it is clearly aligned with the introduction and the body of the essay.
task response
Make sure to directly address the task throughout the essay. Keep referring back to the question to ensure that all parts of your essay contribute to the argument concerning the topic at hand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example