Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #sports #rock

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It is often argued by some that extreme

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities

such

rock

climbing and sky-diving must be stopped for good. I completely disagree with

this

opinion and think that these

sports

not only give people a thrilling

experience

but

also

provide

livelihood

Add an article

a livelihood

show examples

to many professionals.

Firstly

, I believe that the tradition of

adventure

sports

such

rock

climbing and sky-diving should be kept alive.

In other words

, these activities give participants an opportunity to

experience

something

that is

not only surreal but

also

breathtaking.

For instance

, people who have

fear

Correct article usage

a fear

show examples

of heights can try tandem skydiving where they would be with a master skydiver.

This

would not only help a person overcome their fears

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

provide them

Add the preposition

with a

show examples

life time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

experience

of jumping from an aircraft 25, 000 feet above sea level.

Moreover

rock

climbing

sport

is a lifelong hobby of many who love outdoor adventures. To

them

Add a comma

them,

show examples

this

sport

is a way to escape the chaos of daily routine and enjoy their lone time by climbing cliffs. Some even say that

this

is their way of meditating. By doing

this

sport

every week, they can get a break from their stressful work life and prepare themselves for the coming week

Secondly

, I believe that

adventure

sports

should not be banned as it provides livelihood to many professionals out there. In order to become a professional sky-dive master or a

rock

climbing specialist, people have to go through rigorous and intense training sessions putting in numerous hours of hard work day and night. Since these

sports

are a passion for many, they would start training from early childhood to become certified experts in these

sports

. If at all after years of dedication these

sports

are banned, it would definitely affect their livelihood.

In addition

, these certified experts know all about safety precautions that should be taken in order to give one a memorable

experience

Thus

, banning these

sports

would not only affect their morale

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

drive them to poverty. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

adventure

sports

should not be banned as they provide individuals

Add the preposition

with an

show examples

unforgettable

experience

which gives them an adrenaline rush and helps them overcome their fears.

Also

, banning these

sports

will ruin the life and career of

adventure

sports

professionals.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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introduction

Ensure that the introduction clearly states the thesis and directly addresses the prompt. Present your opinion in a clear and direct manner, without ambiguity.

logical structure

Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations, examples, and supporting details to reinforce your point. Make sure that the information flows logically from one idea to the next.

conclusion

End the essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position, ensuring it is clearly aligned with the introduction and the body of the essay.

task response

Make sure to directly address the task throughout the essay. Keep referring back to the question to ensure that all parts of your essay contribute to the argument concerning the topic at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

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Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?