Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#say #population #governments #society #people

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It is true that governments have to face more dilemmas caused by senior citizens,

while

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some

people

Use synonyms

think that elderly

people

Use synonyms

give more advantages to the community.

This

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essay will examine how elderly

people

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have a positive impact on

society

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since they have a wealth of skills

as well as

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contribute to the economy.

To begin

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with, the activeness of

people

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becomes slower when they turn older. The older population who still drives tend to use

a lower speeds

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lower speed

lower speeds

show examples

therefore

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the traffic increase in public. What is more, the ageing population rarely for asking help in

society

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because they do not want to bother their neighbour.

For instance

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, when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to collect data in order to election, older

people

Use synonyms

usually come late so impacted by the event. Obviously, senior citizens have to start a relationship with their

society

Use synonyms

which is able to lend a hand to them.

On the other hand

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, despite those downsides, it is worth noticing that the ageing population has numerous skills

due to

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many of the experiences they have in their life that contribute to the community. To illustrate, in a state, if there is a problem in the neighbourhood, folk usually ask for advice from the elderly since they are able to provide advice based on their life experiences. Another benefit is independence financially. Owing to the many work experiences elderly

people

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have, they have numerous assets to support their lives;

as a result

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, senior citizens do not ask the government to provide aid for them. In conclusion,

although

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elderly

people

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may encounter some issues in public, I firmly believe that their presence is essential since many aspects they can contribute.

Subsequently

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it is clear that

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governments have to provide more spaces in public in order to support older

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

activities.

Submitted by musa.nuwa on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear logical structure which disrupts the flow of information. Ensure that ideas are organized in a logical manner with clear connections between them.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present but do not effectively set the context for the essay or summarize the main points convincingly. Focus on crafting a compelling introduction and a conclusive summary that encapsulates your argument.

coherence cohesion

Main points are not consistently supported with relevant examples or explanations. Develop each point with specific examples or detailed reasoning to enhance clarity and impact.

task achievement

The response does not fully address the prompt, as the comparison between the advantages and disadvantages is not sufficiently explored or balanced.

task achievement

Ideas presented in the essay are somewhat clear but lack depth and comprehensive development. Work on providing more insightful analysis and detailed exposition of the ideas.

task achievement

Specific examples are scarce and when used, are not effectively relevant to the argument being made. Include more targeted examples to substantiate your points and enhance the persuasiveness of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that there's nothing we can learn from history previous characters,while on the other hand,some of them believe that there is a lot that we can learn from history,such as avoiding the mistakes that people before made. In this article, I will be discussing both views.

A growing number of people rely on restuarants and convenience food(frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday? Do you ageree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Work is being done on the street where you live. The noise is disturbing you. Write a letter of complaint to your local council. In your letter, A) Introduce yourself B) Explain what the problem is C) Suggest solutions