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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness
There is no doubt that money plays a significant role in
people
's
happiness
. But, is it the only factor? From my perspective, I believe in the importance of money, but definitely, it is not the essential factor of joy. First of all, Many
people
 around the world live in developing countries with poor conditions. They live in a country where there are, political problems and economic issues.
However
,
this
 does not affect the level of their
happiness
. And
this
 is because they have a strong bond with their family and their community. For them bliss is not related to spending cash, they can drink a coffee with their loved ones or just walk with them in a park and they would be on top of the world. Being wealthy can contribute to enhancing our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Otherwise
, Most
people
 only require basic needs, like food , rent, and basic medical care.
Moreover
,
Happiness
 does not require much, Spending quality time with our family and friends can bring much joy and laughter,
as well as
 being in good health like being able to walk , talk and hear can contribute to our
happiness
.
Also
, the satisfaction about everything happening in our life can make us cheerful
people
. Generally, wealth is not the only factor towards bliss. In conclusion, there are many ways towards
happiness
 other than money. spending a quality time with our family and friends it would be one of the greatest moments in our lives
Submitted by nana0072008 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear and coherent structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which should be supported by specific details or examples.
coherence cohesion
Develop your arguments more thoroughly. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea followed by development through examples, consequences, or a detailed explanation. Your main ideas are somewhat presented but lack depth and full development.
task achievement
Your essay should clearly respond to the task by presenting and developing a position in response to the question. While your essay touches upon the topic, it needs to delve deeper into how people can be happy without much money and should explore other specific factors contributing to happiness.
task achievement
Be consistent and comprehensive in your response. Address all parts of the task to fully cover the question asked. Do more than simply mention other happiness factors; explore and explain them. Your essay acknowledges the presence of happiness beyond monetary means but does not fully explore the alternatives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promoting happiness
  • Essential factors
  • Financial stability
  • Material wealth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Contentment
  • Basic needs
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Social connections
  • Pursuing passions
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Spiritual practices
  • Personal growth
  • Community service
  • Societal contribution
  • Philanthropy
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Prosperity
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