Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

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There is no doubt that money plays a significant role in

people

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happiness

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. But, is it the only factor? From my perspective, I believe in the importance of money, but definitely, it is not the essential factor of joy. First of all, Many

people

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around the world live in developing countries with poor conditions. They live in a country where there are, political problems and economic issues.

However

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this

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does not affect the level of their

happiness

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. And

this

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is because they have a strong bond with their family and their community. For them bliss is not related to spending cash, they can drink a coffee with their loved ones or just walk with them in a park and they would be on top of the world. Being wealthy can contribute to enhancing our

life

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lives

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Otherwise

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, Most

people

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only require basic needs, like food , rent, and basic medical care.

Moreover

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Happiness

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does not require much, Spending quality time with our family and friends can bring much joy and laughter,

as well as

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being in good health like being able to walk , talk and hear can contribute to our

happiness

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Also

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, the satisfaction about everything happening in our life can make us cheerful

people

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. Generally, wealth is not the only factor towards bliss. In conclusion, there are many ways towards

happiness

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other than money. spending a quality time with our family and friends it would be one of the greatest moments in our lives

nana0072008Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure that your essay has a clear and coherent structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which should be supported by specific details or examples.

coherence cohesion

Develop your arguments more thoroughly. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea followed by development through examples, consequences, or a detailed explanation. Your main ideas are somewhat presented but lack depth and full development.

task achievement

Your essay should clearly respond to the task by presenting and developing a position in response to the question. While your essay touches upon the topic, it needs to delve deeper into how people can be happy without much money and should explore other specific factors contributing to happiness.

task achievement

Be consistent and comprehensive in your response. Address all parts of the task to fully cover the question asked. Do more than simply mention other happiness factors; explore and explain them. Your essay acknowledges the presence of happiness beyond monetary means but does not fully explore the alternatives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

People aim to keep a balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweighs disadvantages?