numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extiction. some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is irrefutable that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of some species is rising day by day. Many opine that animal protection should be
priority
Add an article
a priority
the priority
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of
prople
Correct your spelling
people
as well as
nations but people who do not agree with
this
statement believe human issues should be seen first. I will shed some light on both views and will give my opinion in the conclusion.
Firstly
, individuals who argue that animal
pervention
Correct your spelling
prevention
should be our initial step. it is being said because animals not only provide us medicines for human safety but
also
give us food and
row
Correct your spelling
raw
show examples
material.
For instance
,
disappearance
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the disappearance
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of species
lead
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leads
show examples
us towards
unstable
Correct article usage
an unstable
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ecosystem.
Due to
this
, various kinds of production would get
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
such
as food, medicine, and raw material.
Also
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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will not survive if they do not
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
basic needs
everydays
Correct your spelling
every day
everyday
.
Consequently
, life would not be easy without animal species.
Secondly
, individuals who support that human issues are
burning
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a burning
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topic in
this
era and must
be tackle
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be tackled
show examples
fisrt
Correct your spelling
first
are considering
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poverty, diseases and education.
For example
, International Newspaper has proved that 70% of people are suffering
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
multiple problems
such
as illness, unemployment
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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lack of study
should
Correct word choice
and should
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be given some support first to improve their circumstances, so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
live better
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Consequently
, our nation would be rich
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
every aspect if these
issue
Change the determiner
issues
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
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tackled first prior to other problems. To put it in a nutshell,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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pen
Verb problem
am
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down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
saying that both problems are imperative to mitigate but human obstackles should be our primary consideration if we are living healthy and good
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
then
we can solve everything
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear, logical progression of ideas which is necessary for high coherence and cohesion. The connections between paragraphs and the overall structure of the argument could be significantly improved for better clarity.
Task Achievement
Both views and the writer's opinion are presented, however, the development of the argument is superficial without in-depth analysis. Specific examples are lacking and there is repetition of ideas rather than clear expansion and support for the main points. This affects the task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
The writer should work on organizing ideas more coherently, using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion could be more closely related to the task to ensure a strong opening and final statement that tie the essay together.
Task Achievement
It's important to not only present each view but also to explore them with sufficient detail and examples. The writer should ensure that their opinion is clear and well supported, integrating it throughout the essay rather than only at the conclusion.
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