IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?

#people #self- #work #company #organization #case
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There is no doubt that these days you should have many sources of money the question is what the pros and cons
if
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are if
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 you have two choices to be an employed or freelancer, in
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides and I will write my own opinion. In terms of advantages to being a freelancer
and
Correct word choice
apply
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you have your own business that makes you gain more money , To illustrate when you invest your time and your knowledge and put all your power into your trade that will affect
directly
Correct pronoun usage
you directly
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 and you will see better results ,the main reason to given support
this
 claim to be on a market you will see many challenges and that give you lots of experience and you will archive your goals and your dreams . In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other word when you have your own business that
mean
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means
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 you should
to
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apply
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work every time in the evening and morning and you should follow up on everything that goes from
small
Correct article usage
a small
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 to a large subject.
However
, to be employed
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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gives you many benefits,
Firstly
 that will help you to improve your skills and work under pressure ,On the other you will know about the environment of the labour market and build a strong relationship, Which will help you if you looking to have your own company on the future .
Secondly
 many leaders today their a monthly salary
over
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of over
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 100,000 SAR ,So not in many situations
to have
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having
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 your own business is the best choice
may
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you will gain more than what you want if just fox to develop yourself and gain any opportunities in your life . In conclusion, to choose which is the best is something not equal because that depends on the personality and acknowledged field.
Submitted by dalal7almalki7 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay attempted to address the topic, but lacked clear structure and coherent paragraphing. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be clearer.
task achievement
Ideas were touched upon but not developed fully. More specific examples and explanations are needed to support the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • autonomy
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • financial instability
  • self-motivation
  • benefits
  • job security
  • healthcare
  • retirement plans
  • administrative tasks
  • compliance
  • isolation
  • camaraderie
What to do next:
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