Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?.

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In recent year, it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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known that developed
countries
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has
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have
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helped
the
Correct article usage
apply
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undeveloped
countries
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by giving them
a
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apply
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financial
aid
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. It is often argued that it will be better for them to give another
solution
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as money does not solve the problem. Personally, I completely agree that there are
another method
Fix the agreement mistake
other methods
show examples
to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty
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in undeveloped
countries
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. First of all, I believe that money can solve everything, only if it is handed to the right person.
Moreover
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, with the financial
aid
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given by rich
countries
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, undeveloped
contries
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countries
could use it to help their poor citizen financially.
For example
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, healthy food, education, or even
houses
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housing
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are the common
method
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methods
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they use. Unfortunately, when it comes to
a
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apply
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systematic
poverty
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,
this
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kind of help is only a short-term
solution
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because
they
Correct your spelling
the
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aid
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will be gone in a few months or even weeks.
Hence
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, it will be better if the
solution
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can
give
Verb problem
have
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a long-term impact.
On the other hand
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, there are several other
method
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methods
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to help undeveloped
countries
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solving
Wrong verb form
solve
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their
poverty
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problems
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.
Firstly
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, building an irrigation system in a dry area might help the
countries
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to solve their water and food
problems
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.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
solution
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may
also
Linking Words
improve the
citizen
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citizens
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health as health
problems
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usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
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related to water and nutrient
source
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sources
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.
Secondly
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, cooperating with the local government to solve local
problems
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such
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as in education, human resources development, or even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation.
Thus
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, the
aid
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can be more powerful to give a long-term
solution
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. In conclusion, giving help will always
a
Add a missing verb
be a
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good thing to do, but it will be better to give
an
Remove the article
apply
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effective help. In
this
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matter, financial
aid
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is only a
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
help for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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poor
countries
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,
while
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giving an actual act and cooperation
developed
Change preposition
to developed
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
can solve the
poverty
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in undeveloped one.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay does include a logical structure, there is room for improvement. Consider focusing on clarity in the progression of your ideas. Ensure the ideas flow naturally from one paragraph to the next, using a variety of linking words and phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Aim to provide a clearer thesis statement and overview of the main points in your introduction, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but sometimes the support is not fully developed. Aim to expand on your examples and explanations, providing a deeper analysis that directly ties back to your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a complete response, which is commendable. To further improve, ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that you address all parts of the prompt evenly.
task achievement
You've communicated clear ideas, but strive for a greater depth of idea development. Consider exploring the implications or consequences of the issues you raise in greater detail.
task achievement
Your use of relevant examples is adequate, but could be more specific and detailed. Incorporate concrete examples that directly illustrate the points you are making, which can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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