Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?.

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In recent year, it

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

known that developed

countries

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

helped

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

by giving them

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial

aid

Use synonyms

. It is often argued that it will be better for them to give another

solution

Use synonyms

as money does not solve the problem. Personally, I completely agree that there are

another method

Fix the agreement mistake

other methods

show examples

to solve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty

Use synonyms

in undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

. First of all, I believe that money can solve everything, only if it is handed to the right person.

Moreover

Linking Words

, with the financial

aid

Use synonyms

given by rich

countries

Use synonyms

, undeveloped

contries

Correct your spelling

countries

could use it to help their poor citizen financially.

For example

Linking Words

, healthy food, education, or even

houses

Wrong verb form

housing

show examples

are the common

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

they use. Unfortunately, when it comes to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

systematic

poverty

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

kind of help is only a short-term

solution

Use synonyms

because

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

aid

Use synonyms

will be gone in a few months or even weeks.

Hence

Linking Words

, it will be better if the

solution

Use synonyms

can

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

a long-term impact.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are several other

method

Change to a plural noun

methods

show examples

to help undeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

solving

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

their

poverty

Use synonyms

problems

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, building an irrigation system in a dry area might help the

countries

Use synonyms

to solve their water and food

problems

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

solution

Use synonyms

may

also

Linking Words

improve the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

health as health

problems

Use synonyms

usually

Add a missing verb

are usually

show examples

related to water and nutrient

source

Fix the agreement mistake

sources

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, cooperating with the local government to solve local

problems

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as in education, human resources development, or even in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

transportation.

Thus

Linking Words

, the

aid

Use synonyms

can be more powerful to give a long-term

solution

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, giving help will always

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

good thing to do, but it will be better to give

Remove the article

apply

show examples

effective help. In

this

Linking Words

matter, financial

aid

Use synonyms

is only a

short term

Add a hyphen

short-term

show examples

help for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

poor

countries

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

giving an actual act and cooperation

developed

Change preposition

to developed

show examples

countries

Use synonyms

can solve the

poverty

Use synonyms

in undeveloped one.

misstiasclassroomTue Dec 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

While your essay does include a logical structure, there is room for improvement. Consider focusing on clarity in the progression of your ideas. Ensure the ideas flow naturally from one paragraph to the next, using a variety of linking words and phrases effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Aim to provide a clearer thesis statement and overview of the main points in your introduction, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's arguments without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but sometimes the support is not fully developed. Aim to expand on your examples and explanations, providing a deeper analysis that directly ties back to your main argument.

task achievement

You have addressed the task and provided a complete response, which is commendable. To further improve, ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that you address all parts of the prompt evenly.

task achievement

You've communicated clear ideas, but strive for a greater depth of idea development. Consider exploring the implications or consequences of the issues you raise in greater detail.

task achievement

Your use of relevant examples is adequate, but could be more specific and detailed. Incorporate concrete examples that directly illustrate the points you are making, which can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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