Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?.

In recent year, it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
known that developed
countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
helped
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undeveloped
countries
by giving them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial
aid
. It is often argued that it will be better for them to give another
solution
as money does not solve the problem. Personally, I completely agree that there are
another method
Fix the agreement mistake
other methods
show examples
to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
in undeveloped
countries
. First of all, I believe that money can solve everything, only if it is handed to the right person.
Moreover
, with the financial
aid
given by rich
countries
, undeveloped
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
could use it to help their poor citizen financially.
For example
, healthy food, education, or even
houses
Wrong verb form
housing
show examples
are the common
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
they use. Unfortunately, when it comes to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
systematic
poverty
,
this
kind of help is only a short-term
solution
because
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
aid
will be gone in a few months or even weeks.
Hence
, it will be better if the
solution
can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a long-term impact.
On the other hand
, there are several other
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
to help undeveloped
countries
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
their
poverty
problems
.
Firstly
, building an irrigation system in a dry area might help the
countries
to solve their water and food
problems
.
Moreover
,
this
solution
may
also
improve the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
health as health
problems
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
related to water and nutrient
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
.
Secondly
, cooperating with the local government to solve local
problems
such
as in education, human resources development, or even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation.
Thus
, the
aid
can be more powerful to give a long-term
solution
. In conclusion, giving help will always
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
good thing to do, but it will be better to give
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
effective help. In
this
matter, financial
aid
is only a
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
help for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
poor
countries
,
while
giving an actual act and cooperation
developed
Change preposition
to developed
show examples
countries
can solve the
poverty
in undeveloped one.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay does include a logical structure, there is room for improvement. Consider focusing on clarity in the progression of your ideas. Ensure the ideas flow naturally from one paragraph to the next, using a variety of linking words and phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Aim to provide a clearer thesis statement and overview of the main points in your introduction, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but sometimes the support is not fully developed. Aim to expand on your examples and explanations, providing a deeper analysis that directly ties back to your main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a complete response, which is commendable. To further improve, ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that you address all parts of the prompt evenly.
task achievement
You've communicated clear ideas, but strive for a greater depth of idea development. Consider exploring the implications or consequences of the issues you raise in greater detail.
task achievement
Your use of relevant examples is adequate, but could be more specific and detailed. Incorporate concrete examples that directly illustrate the points you are making, which can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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