IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #luxury #right #wealth
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In
this
 present world,
education
 is considered by many to be a very crucial part of life. The studies should be available
for
Change preposition
to
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 everyone. In my opinion, I firmly agree that schooling must be costless without regard to
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 circumstances of
families
 as it will help the
country
 grow
along with
 the citizens.
Also
, there should be more
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
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 public
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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as well as
 universities which can give access to all citizens of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
 is one of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 fundamental
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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 of everyone that should be accessible to everyone. By making it free of cost, it ensures that each person is equally provided
the
Add the preposition
with the
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 platform and
furthermore
,
reduced
Wrong verb form
reduces
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 social disparities.
For Example
, there are around 130 billion population in India which does require a
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
show examples
school
 or alternative, financial subsidiaries offered to the private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 which allow access to the
families
instead
 of disparities on
based of
Verb problem
the
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 financial status of
families
.
Furthermore
, if any child born
in
Change preposition
into
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 poor
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
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 which possibly get a basic
education
 in the
country
and
Correct word choice
apply
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any scholarship can be given by
government
 to the students who has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 potential to become a doctor or engineer. They can be an asset to the nation. Importantly,
such
 highly talented skilled
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 can benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
therefore
, the nation should have a single
education
policies
Correct the article-noun agreement
policy
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 and
centralised
Correct article usage
a centralised
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 system.
For example
, all states have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
education
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
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 in India which collapsed the
education
 system and
also
, it will be challenging
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
while
Change preposition
to
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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an
Correct article usage
a
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inter
Correct word choice
apply
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states
Fix the agreement mistake
state
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 transfer within the
country
. To summarise, the
government
 should have a centralised budget,
education
 policies and cost-free
education
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the people of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. There should be more
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
show examples
school
 which can discourage to support the
wealthy
Change preposition
of wealthy
show examples
families
 and talented people can get a platform which
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the development of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. (309)
Submitted by patel.bhavesh870 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure with each paragraph focusing on a single idea. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas and paragraphs together seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Aim to fully respond to all parts of the task. Your introduction should outline the purpose of the essay, and your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively. Be specific and directly address the essay prompt throughout your response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • accessible
  • social mobility
  • personal and professional development
  • overall development
  • equality
  • social disparities
  • access
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