IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say full time students should spend most of time studying; others believe that they should do other activities as well.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #time #students #activities
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A group of individuals believe that
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time
 pupils have to spend their maximum
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying in academic institutions
while
Linking Words
 others think that they need to engage in extra-curricular
activities
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. I completely disagree with the idea of spending most of
Use synonyms
time
Correct pronoun usage
my time
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 studying rather than being involved with other
activities
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the college/
university
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 is an important academic centre where
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time
 students pass their
time
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 learning new things
according to
Linking Words
 guidance by teachers based on the prescribed syllabus. Needless to say, concentration is the prime attribute a
student
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to have to obtain a good
result
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 in an academic career. By spending most of the
time
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 studying, a learner not only ensures full concentration but
also
Linking Words
 a good
result
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 which will add benefits to the
student
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 in his future professional career.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the renowned universities in Bangladesh do not allow any pupils to take
university
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 admission tests without having good academic results. If any
student
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 wants to get admission to a good
university
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, they have to show their dedication to secure a good academic
result
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a large number of renowned organizations prefer those applicants who have extra-curricular
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as communication
skills
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, networking, advanced computer knowledge, and presentation
skills
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along with
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good academic
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result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the earth has been considered a global village these days which means
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
students have to develop their interpersonal
skills
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 in their college/
university
Use synonyms
 life so that they can compete with the global candidates.
For instance
Linking Words
, maximum technology-based companies
such
Linking Words
 as Google, Facebook, and Apple always searching for competent job applicant who has good academic
result
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as well as
Linking Words
 good interpersonal
skills
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. To cope with a global competition, a
student
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 must have extra-curricular
activities
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 good educational qualifications. In conclusion, considering the factors discussed above, I firmly believe that a
student
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 must focus on developing with other
activities
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 spending most of the
time
Use synonyms
 studying.
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed logically, with each sentence contributing to the development of the argument or narrative.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion should be present and clearly state your position on the topic, reflecting the question posed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop main points with specific examples or evidence, and make sure they are relevant to the question and support your position.
Task Achievement
Your essay should answer all parts of the question, demonstrating an understanding of the topic with a complete response.
Task Achievement
Present clear, comprehensive ideas that progress logically throughout your essay, ensuring your view is articulated and elaborated on.
Task Achievement
Include a balance of general assertions with specific, relevant examples that demonstrate the validity of your ideas within the context of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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