Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some individuals believe that internet
soureses
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sources
courses
like
an
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apply
show examples
online educational applications
ore
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or
show examples
youtube
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YouTube
show examples
channels should only be used to teach primary
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
students how to read , others see that old school style printed notes should be used
anested
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a nested
nested
,
while
learning with a hard copy material is more affordable for a large number of
sudent
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student
students
, i strongly agree that learning through an online applications like BBC learn is more funny and
atractive
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attractive
way for them to learn
Fristly
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Firstly
learning has
developde
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developed
through out
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throughout
show examples
the years and modified with many
methouds
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methods
that found
out
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apply
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to be
usefull
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useful
has been
add
Change the verb form
adding
added
show examples
to improve the
qulity
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quality
of it , but yet some people think that learning
useing
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using
pan
an
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and
show examples
papers are the best way as its a method that all type
socity
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society
can do it is
sheap
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cheap
and easy and
avalible
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available
for
eveyone
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everyone
and has do
nigative
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negative
afect
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affect
on the
stuednt
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student
progresse
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progress
progressed
wither he used a tablet or a paper
for example
in
country side
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countryside
show examples
areas where people has no
entarnet
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internet
young
kids
can still
achive
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achieve
their daily
leasons
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lessons
using papers ,pans, and schools books with no problems .
on the other hand
, some people claim that we
Add a missing verb
are srounded
show examples
srounded
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surrounded
by all of
this
technology that has got involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
many aspects of our life like health care , so adding
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
leasons
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lessons
to
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
could make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning more
intertining
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entertaining
intertwining
for them so they can learn faster and
quiker
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quicker
.
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
children who
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tend
stand
tand
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try
to watch and play using BBC
learn
Capitalize word
Learn
show examples
for
kids
Capitalize word
Kids
show examples
has
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have
show examples
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managed
manageed
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managed
to learn reading in
short
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a short
show examples
period
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to other
kids
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
age in
conclucion
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conclusion
there is
alot
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a lot
of debate as some
grop
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groups
think that learning
thorugh
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through
printed school material should be the only way to teach as its more
availabile
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available
,
mean
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meanwhile
show examples
while
the other group
brefared
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prepared
preferred
using only online
sourese
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source
sources
as it is more
enjoyble
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enjoyable
for
kids
and easy .
Submitted by hebadyala on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Ideas are presented in a somewhat disorganized manner, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve logical structure, create an outline before writing the essay and organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and logical transitions.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and a conclusion are present, but they do not effectively introduce and summarize the main points of the essay. Start by clearly stating the topic and the intention to discuss both views in the introduction. The conclusion should restate the main points and your opinion in a concise manner.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned but not well supported with specific examples or explanations. To enhance this aspect, provide clear examples that correspond to the arguments that you are making in each paragraph and explain how these examples support the points you are trying to make.
task achievement
The response only partially meets the task requirements. While the topic is addressed, some key elements are lacking depth such as a balanced discussion of both views and a clear presentation of your opinion. Work on developing each point fully and presenting a more nuanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
The ideas in the essay are relevant but not conveyed clearly or comprehensively. Strive to express your ideas with clarity by using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Avoid repetition and focus on clarity and precision in your language.
task achievement
Relevant examples are attempted but not utilized effectively to support the arguments. To score higher, incorporate examples that are specifically relevant to the argument you are presenting and analyze them to show how they support your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactive
  • multimedia resources
  • customized
  • engaging
  • screen time
  • supervision
  • tactile experience
  • memory retention
  • fine motor skills
  • comprehension
  • distractions
  • digital interfaces
  • accessible
  • updates
  • multimedia
  • balanced approach
  • comprehensive
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