The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

#cultures #countries #world #trend

The majority of cultures are becoming alike throughout the world. There are several reasons for

this

. In

this

essay I will explain why cheap air travel, and developing tourism are the reasons for

this

trend and, in my opinion, it is a positive trend because it promotes a peaceful multicultural environment.

Firstly

, inexpensive flights make it easy for

people

to travel to other countries as they can afford them. In

such

a way,

people

will explore new traditions and exchange their customs with the locals.

Moreover

, not only will they expand their knowledge about other cultures, but

also

spread it to their cultural groups. The public shares each other's beliefs, and thereby, adapts these.

For instance

, since Air India became pocket-friendly, more foreigners are visiting

Golden

Correct article usage

the Golden

show examples

Temple Amritsar on Diwali.

Additionally

, these

people

started celebrating Diwali in their nations as well.

Secondly

, governments of many states are spending a plethora of money on

tourist

places to attract more visitors from overseas.In fact, they are introducing vacation packages at discounts, and advertise them internationally.

Furthermore

, these

tourist

attractions represent a country's culture and influence foreign visitors.

For example

, The Indian government has spent millions of rupees on The Jaipur Museum as it is one of the largest

tourist

destination

Change to a plural noun

destinations

show examples

in India which displays Indian jewellery.

Therefore

, Indian jewellery has been introduced

Change preposition

show examples

American trend.

Finally

, it is a great development which leads to good things as it promotes multicultural surroundings. By sharing each other's cultural heritage,

people

develop good understanding

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and live peacefully together. In conclusion, cultural similarities are occurring in many nations because of air flights of reasonable prices, and the development of

tourist

areas, and it leads to a positive development as it encourages peace and understanding in humans living in diverse

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

Submitted by sran2000amandeep on Tue Dec 19 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the introduction sets the tone for the essay with a clear thesis statement outlining the discussion to follow. While present, the introduction could be sharper in focus.

logical structure

The essay requires a more varied structure in terms of paragraphing and linking. Cohesion can be improved by better use of linking words and phrases that show relationships between ideas.

supported main points

Main points need to be expanded upon with more elaborate supporting information. This may include more detailed examples, explanations, and analyses.

complete response

The response addresses the task, but there are opportunities for deeper exploration of the ideas presented to provide a more complete and thorough discussion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas were conveyed clearly; however, exploring these ideas in greater detail and complexity would improve the comprehensiveness of the response.

relevant specific examples

While examples were used to support the points made, they could be more detailed and specific to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

294 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Globalization
Cultural exchange
Homogenous
Cultural convergence
Multinational corporations
Cultural diversity
Cultural homogenization
Cultural richness
Cultural identities
Preserving
Erosion
Dominance
Technological advancements
Consumer culture
International understanding

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The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Positive or negative development.

In a number of countries , some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very trains between cities . Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people put their personal information (address, telephone number,...) online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?