In many countries, young people are moving from rural areas to cities to work or study. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
contemporary era, most
of
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apply
show examples
young people from rural are moving to metropolitan for schooling or
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Known that all
has
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have
show examples
different advantages and disadvantages. In my point of view, I saw that moving to
cities
has more benefits than staying in the
countryside
and my vital reasons will be analysed in the essay below
Firstly
, in
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
, there is
lack
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a lack
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of teaching standards when compared to
metropolitan
Correct article usage
the metropolitan
show examples
. Teachers in rural
school
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schools
show examples
just concentrate on
compulsory
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the compulsory
a compulsory
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subject
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subjects
show examples
instead
of
care
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caring
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more
on
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about
show examples
practical knowledge and social experience which
are help
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helps
show examples
students a lot .
Further more
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Furthermore
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, in
cities
, there are not only
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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native advanced teacher but
also
foreign teachers who
has
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have
show examples
many effective study
melthods
Correct your spelling
methods
.
For example
, in
countryside
schools or
university
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universities
show examples
learners can only select either
mother
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their mother
show examples
tongue and English as a primary and secondary language, but in
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
there will be multiple choices, we can
optional
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opt
show examples
for foreign dialect
as
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apply
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secondary.
Secondly
, in the
countryside
, job opportunities are very few. Living
standard
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standards
show examples
in rural areas
not
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are not
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very high so most big companies and industries
located
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are located
show examples
mainly in the
cities
.
For example
, a man
have
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has
show examples
graduated from his hometown which is a small town but he is working in a metropolitan
city
because none of the business in his hometown is suitable for his educational field, qualification and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skill set he has. So he has to move to
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
to get better opportunities where he can utilize his
educations
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education
show examples
and
skill
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skills
show examples
efficiently In
the
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apply
show examples
contrast, there
is
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are
show examples
adisadvantages
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disadvantages
a disadvantages
of living in the
city
such
as pollution. The
city
is home to many factories and enterprises. In
additions
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addition
show examples
, vehicles
emited
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emitted
emit
a large amount of dust and smoke, polluting the air and causing many diseases for people.
During the
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The
show examples
essay
show
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shows
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that most
of
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apply
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people who are moving from rural to metropolitan are
getting benefited with
Wrong verb form
benefiting from
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knowledge- wise
as well as
Correct your spelling
career
carrer wise
Replace the word
career-wise
show examples
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a clear and logical structure for your essay. This includes introducing your main points, then explaining and expanding on these points, and finishing with a clear conclusion that summarizes your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the question. Both should provide insight into the topic and encapsulate the main points of your essay without introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with relevant examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and shows the examiner that you have a clear understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the question. You need to address the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with clear explanations.
Task Achievement
Use clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay rather than simply listing points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the content should be developed appropriately.
Task Achievement
Include specific, detailed examples to illustrate your points. These examples need to be relevant to the question and should help to support the arguments you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolitan
  • Career advancement
  • Higher education institutions
  • Cultural diversity
  • Infrastructure
  • Rural exodus
  • Standard of living
  • Networking
  • Overcrowding
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Quality of life
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