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Band 2.5

The plan below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

#plan #show #park #first
the given diagram depicts the plan of a public
park
has been
Wrong verb form
that
show examples
 opened in 1920 and the same
park
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today
overall
 in
arnold
Change the capitalization
Arnold
show examples
 avenue, the fountain and the stage of musicians are
convented
Correct your spelling
converted
show examples
 into
rose
Add an article
the rose
a rose
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 garden and
amphiltheatre
Correct your spelling
amphitheatre
 for concerts.
however
Capitalize word
However
show examples
 the water feature is attached
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the right corner of
map
Add an article
the map
show examples
. Regarding 1920,the area of the rose garden is been placed in between the entrance,On the left side of
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 map they provide
Correct article usage
a seat
show examples
seat
Fix the agreement mistake
seats
show examples
 and
inaddition
Correct your spelling
in addition
 they make preparations for
glasshouse
Add an article
the glasshouse
show examples
.The pond
gor
Correct your spelling
and
 water plants
plays
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
 a
simgnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role in
grange
Correct your spelling
Grange Park
show examples
park
 in 1920. Another big change in
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 scenario is the
childrean's
Correct your spelling
children's
 play area and the cafe. They supply
a
Change the article
an
show examples
under ground
Correct your spelling
underground
show examples
 car parking which is agreeable to the drivers
as well as
 the public.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the west side of the map ,there is a massive change in
Correct article usage
the ampliltheatre
show examples
ampliltheatre
Correct your spelling
amphitheatre
 for concerts,there are outdoor spaces where concerts and other performances
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 been held.
As a result
, the space of the
park
 has been
upgrading
Wrong verb form
upgraded
show examples
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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grammar
Your essay does not fully adhere to the conventions of written English. Grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors are present and can detract from the clarity of your communication. Consider reviewing the basic rules of written English and practicing writing sentences that are both grammatically correct and clearly convey your ideas.
coherence
The essay lacks some coherence and cohesion. While there is a general flow to your writing, it needs to be improved by clearly organizing your ideas into paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Additionally, the use of linking words and phrases should be employed to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task response
While your essay attempts to address the task, the response partly covers the requirements. It's necessary to develop more clear and comprehensive ideas with supporting details and relevant examples, ensuring that all parts of the task are fully covered. Improve this by spending time planning your essay and ensuring that you have a clear idea of each paragraph's main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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