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Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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Today business owners focus on marketing their
products
 as new or special in some way.
That is
 because they want to convince the consumer that their
products
 are one of a kind. Personally, I believe that
this
 method of advertising is a negative point because they are deceiving the
customers
. To commence with, businesses are selling a brand, not a product. In more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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, they want to persuade the audience that their
products
 can provide something special that no other brand can offer.
This
 will lead to them creating some kind of monopoly over the market so that they can increase their
prices
 when they actually manage to collect a large number of
customers
. If they marketed their
products
 at high
prices
 and without focusing on the idea that they have no alternatives, they would not achieve high sales. In my opinion, it is unethical
of
Change preposition
for
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 business owners to use their
customers
.
This
 will result in people buying
products
 because they think they need them but in fact, there may be cheaper alternatives everywhere.
As a result
, the consumers may not believe if someone tells them that there are other brands that are less famous but can provide the same value or even more in relation to their
prices
. In conclusion, not only companies are using their
customers
 to gain more money but
also
 they are doing that in a manipulative way by convincing them first that their
products
 are irreplaceable and
then
 increasing their
prices
 which can create financial burdens on many people.
Moreover
, I believe that
this
 method of advertising is unprofessional and that it should be modified.
Submitted by nadasoltan818 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains a clear position throughout, the development of ideas could be enriched with deeper analysis and more diverse sentence structures. Transitions could be used more effectively to improve flow and coherence.
task achievement
The task is only partially addressed. The essay should provide a balanced discussion of both views and a clear opinion. Adequate exemplification and a more comprehensive conclusion are needed to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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