IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Over the
last
Linking Words
 two or three decades,
way
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
 of communication has changed more tremendously than ever before from
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 to online.
As a result
Linking Words
. People communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
Use synonyms
 and conduct virtual
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of directly. Lack of
time
Use synonyms
 and from wherever can access are the main causes. There are some solutions
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
overcome
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. These days, people do not have
more
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to talk to
others
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
direct
Replace the word
directly
show examples
 because they are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 something else like working two jobs to earn money in order to satisfy their family's needs and wants.
An online
Remove the article
Online
show examples
 chatting or speaking can help to interact
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
Use synonyms
 even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to talk, all credit goes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 connects people
closure
Fix the infinitive
to closure
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an online meeting is quite popular across the world because it can
access
Wrong verb form
be accessed
show examples
 from wherever.
For example
Linking Words
, the
world leaders conference
Correct your spelling
World Leaders Conference
show examples
organise
Wrong verb form
is organised
show examples
 by video conferencing
such
Linking Words
 as Zoom and Skype.
This
Linking Words
 can connect closure the world
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 one screen,
therefore
Linking Words
, many individuals do not like to talk to
others
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
directly.
However
Linking Words
, there are some solutions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teenagers to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 meeting
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 person. One of the major remedies is that
teens
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
outside like
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 in order tomthey far away from
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they might interact
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 person.
Additionally
Linking Words
, recreational activities
also
Linking Words
 stimulate
teens
Use synonyms
 to
participating
Change the verb form
participate
show examples
direct
Change preposition
in direct
show examples
 communication rather than online.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
gruop
Correct your spelling
group
 activities
also
Linking Words
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 more interactions within a group.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India
conducts
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one group activity for teenagers
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is called "sip and paint"
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every weekend.
As a result
Linking Words
, teenagers make many friends and go out with them
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
directly.
To conclude
Linking Words
, lack of
time
Use synonyms
 and it can access from wherever are the main reasons for socialising
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
 the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Pre-adult
Fix the agreement mistake
Pre-adults
show examples
 may go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
outside
while
Linking Words
 they
far
Add a missing verb
are far
show examples
 away from online and group activities might help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teens
Use synonyms
 talk to
others
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
directly, these are the solutions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 encouraging
teens
Use synonyms
 to talk
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
directly.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of your essay is clear, using well-organized paragraphs and appropriate transition words for better flow. Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a stronger framing for your essay.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas within each paragraph, ensuring that each main point is fully explained and supported by evidence or examples. Avoid broad generalizations, and strive for precision and depth in your explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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