Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #life #operations #development

Over the

last

two or three decades, science

advanced

Replace the word

advancement

show examples

has increased more tremendously than ever before,

as a result

people

get more benefits from it. These days, cosmetic

surgery

is quite popular across the world and the population

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

to enhance their

beauties

Fix the agreement mistake

beauty

show examples

Change preposition

through

show examples

surgery

. I think it is a positive breakthrough.

This

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some reasons for

people

choose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cosmetic operations. Most

actress

Change to a plural noun

actresses

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

doing

this

surgery

for enhancing

Change preposition

to enhance

show examples

their

beauties

Fix the agreement mistake

beauty

show examples

while

they will get more movie

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

to act, so, they earn millions of money from their

beauties

Fix the agreement mistake

beauty

show examples

For example

, the famous

south

Capitalize word

South

show examples

Indian actress MS Nayanthara has not succeeded in

Correct article usage

the cinima

show examples

cinima

Correct your spelling

cinema

field when she

was enter

Change the verb form

entered

show examples

afterthat

Correct your spelling

after that

she was done cosmetic

surgery

to enhance her beauty with fair skin,

as a result

, she got many movie chances to act with superstar

hero's

Change the noun form

heroes

hero

show examples

Hence

people

do cosmetic operations

for enhancing

Change preposition

to enhance

show examples

their

beauties

Fix the agreement mistake

beauty

show examples

in order to they can accomplish in

Correct pronoun usage

their career

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Furthermore

this

is a positive development because it helps

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the public are being more

self-confidence

Replace the word

self-confident

show examples

and beautiful.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

means some folks

face

Verb problem

are

show examples

not

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

appropriate

while

they suffer the inferiority complex to compare others.

This

kind of

surgery

can give their life back with more

beauties

Fix the agreement mistake

beauty

show examples

For instance

, one of the skin

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

called

Add a missing verb

is called

show examples

Vitilogo, many affect

this

issue

while

they lose their beauty but now there are many cosmetic

surgery

Change to a plural noun

surgeries

show examples

have

done

Add a missing verb

been done

show examples

in order

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

who suffer

this

Change preposition

from this

show examples

issue can be relieved.

Therefore

this

surgery

is a positive development and it helps enormous

people

life are changed

Wrong verb form

lives change

show examples

drastically.

To conclude

, cosmetic operations can help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the population are

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

beauty

Replace the word

beautiful

show examples

Correct word choice

and self-confidence

show examples

self-confidence

Replace the word

self-confident

show examples

, so, they can far away from the inferiority complex.

Hence

, I think

this

is a positive development because it

change

Change the verb form

changes

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives from dark to bright.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Dec 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay needs a more structured approach, with clear paragraphing and a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting sentences.

task achievement

Be cautious with overgeneralising and presenting opinions as facts. Ensure a balanced discussion by considering different perspectives.

coherence cohesion

Focus on punctuation and sentence structuring to improve readability and coherence between ideas.

task achievement

Arguments should be expanded with specific, relevant examples to substantiate claims made within the essay.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion should be clear and reflect the writer's position, ensuring they address all parts of the prompt effectively.

task achievement

Develop the ideas further in order to respond fully to all parts of the task, providing a detailed explanation of the implications, and consider opposing viewpoints where applicable.

task achievement

Pay attention to accuracy in vocabulary and grammar, in order to convey meaning more clearly and effectively.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in school programs?

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing.

All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grade. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree, what other measures do you think might be effective

In some countries the avrage wight of people os increasing and their levels of health and fitness are deacreasing, . What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them