IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

#people #rubbish #governments #amount
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In increasing number of creating
waste
Use synonyms
 is getting higher day by day. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will examine the factors that contribute towards
this
Linking Words
 issue and propose some solutions to them. In terms of the root cause of
rubbish
Correct article usage
the rubbish
show examples
 accumulation
problem
Use synonyms
 may vary.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 circumstances happen because least awareness of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 about
manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
 their household
waste
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 practice
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 consistency and basic knowledge of types of
waste
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 society
assume
Change the verb form
assumes
show examples
 that it is too complicated.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the rubbish
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mixed in the end of
landfill
Add an article
the landfill
a landfill
show examples
, hard to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 between organic or
non organic
Add a hyphen
non-organic
show examples
, and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a mountain of
dump
Wrong verb form
dumped
show examples
 there.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 as
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they do not take any serious actions to resolve it. To illustrate,
Correct article usage
the Indonesia
show examples
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 only take a small action towards
waste
Use synonyms
 management,
such
Linking Words
 as
enlarge
Wrong verb form
enlarging
show examples
 the dump centre but it is not a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 sustainable solution. A possible solution to
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 should be
coordinate
Change the form of the verb
coordinated
show examples
 by the
government
Use synonyms
. A policy is essential as a foundation to plan, implement and
monitored
Change the form of the verb
monitor
show examples
 any step that should be taken by all stakeholders.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
Linking Words
 should
doing
Change the verb form
do
be doing
show examples
 a real action
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 some
survey
Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
show examples
 or
observation
Fix the agreement mistake
observations
show examples
 about the
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
faced by
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
 or penalty is necessary to make sure all the
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 run appropriately. To complete it,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must do intensive socialization to society.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of Environment of Indonesia
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drafting the regulation about
waste
Use synonyms
 management from upstream to downstream as a commitment to reduce carbon emissions in 2030. In conclusion, the main
problem
Use synonyms
 of trash being piled up
is came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from least
conciousness
Correct your spelling
consciousness
 of individuals and
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to manage it.
This
Linking Words
 essay suggested that the
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 is having a comprehensive law or fundamental and it is
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 responsibility.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To improve your score in Task Response, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced answer by discussing both parts of the question more thoroughly and offer specific, developed solutions, not just general ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, your essay could benefit from clearer transitions and better paragraph structure. Aim for more logical sequencing of information and use cohesive devices appropriately to enhance readability.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: