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Writing Samples
Band 5

Write an essay of 200 - 250 words on the following topic. Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#topic #people #research #focus #world #health
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The question of where scientific
research
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 should prioritize its focus has sparked debate.
While
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 some argue that it should primarily target world
health
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 problems, others believe there are more pressing
issues
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. On one side, proponents of
health
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-centric
research
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 emphasize its critical role in improving global well-being. Diseases like COVID-19 highlight the ongoing threats to public
health
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, necessitating advanced medical solutions.
Research
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 into vaccines, treatments, and healthcare systems is essential for addressing current and future
health
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 challenges. On the flip side, critics argue that broader
issues
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,
such
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 as climate change, poverty, or energy sustainability, demand immediate attention.
For instance
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, climate change poses a threat not only to the environment but
also
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 to human
health
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 through extreme weather events and the spread of diseases. Prioritizing these challenges might indirectly contribute to improved
health
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 outcomes by creating a more stable and secure world. In my opinion, a balanced approach is necessary.
While
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health
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 problems are crucial, tackling interconnected global
issues
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 can lead to comprehensive solutions.
For instance
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, investing in clean energy
research
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 not only addresses environmental concerns but
also
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 indirectly benefits
health
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 by reducing pollution-related illnesses. In conclusion,
while
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 focusing on world
health
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 problems is crucial, a holistic perspective that addresses broader
issues
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 is equally important. Striking a balance in scientific
research
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 can lead to more effective and sustainable solutions for the benefit of humanity.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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task achievement
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. Though you discussed both views and gave your opinion as required, providing specific examples to support each view would have strengthened the response.
task achievement
Work on integrating specific, relevant examples to support your main points. This will enhance the essay's argumentative quality and provide more substance to your claims.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical paragraphing and cohesion throughout the essay using a range of cohesive devices. This essay showcases a logical structure and paragraphing with clear distinction between introduction, body and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Remember to support your arguments with specific examples. Each main point should be exemplified to demonstrate depth of thought and to provide concrete evidence for assertions made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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