Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advatages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Museums are places where historical remains and cultural antiques are stored and preserved in order to present what the past had to the present and future
generation
. It is usually funded by the government and Fix the agreement mistake
generations
thus
avaible
for public usage with its free-from-charges service. Correct your spelling
available
However
, there are some museums that have some kind of incentive barrier that keeps them from getting
freely visited by the public. Verb problem
being
This
practice
has its own advantages
and disadvantages, and I firmly believe that the advantages
are outweighted
by the disadvantages Correct your spelling
outweighed
and
Correct word choice
apply
thus
making this
practice
innefficient
.
Let's talk about the Correct your spelling
inefficient
advantages
first. By gatekeeping the Cultural Institution
with some kind of fee, it would definetly
help the Correct your spelling
definitely
place
to keep on running by providing it with a much needing funding for the museum
staffs
, exhibits, and extensive research and educational program. It would Fix the agreement mistake
staff
also
help to deal with crowd control, as making the place
exclusive rather than inclusive would demotivate people
to flock and gather at the place
, thus
, reducing the crowd density and making the surrounding atmosphere more suited for a deep and intimate historical and art experience.
However
, I believe the disadvantages with
Change preposition
of
this
practice
overshadow its advantages
. Firstly
, history, culture, and art are not something that you would need to pay to experience. By forcing people
to pay, it essentially forms a socioeconomy barrier that just would not be fair for low-income individuals and families. Secondly
, the fact that the museum
would not be as crowded should be viewed as a flaw, as it means that less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
are going to the museum
and
Correct word choice
apply
thus
failing the role of the place
as an educational institution
.
In the end, incentivizing people
to pay for access to a museum
would not be the best practice
. It would only gatekeep wealthy people
with less-wealthy
ones and create an unnecessary socioeconomy disparity where the wealthy Correct your spelling
less wealthy
gets
more access to education compared to the poor. Not only that, but it would Correct subject-verb agreement
get
also
refute the idea of museum
as an educational Add an article
the museum
a museum
institution
where it supposed
to be an Add a missing verb
is supposed
institution
where everyone could visit and experience.Submitted by fadiljayaputra on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Use paragraphing effectively to separate your ideas and make sure that each paragraph contains a single main point that is well-developed and supported by appropriate examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion for a complete essay structure. The introduction should clearly state your main idea or response to the question, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position, without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with supporting details and examples. Each of your body paragraphs should explore a distinct advantage or disadvantage, and you should provide specific examples to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task by providing a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Your conclusion should clearly indicate whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages based on the arguments you've presented.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas clearly and comprehensively. While you have touched upon relevant points, expanding on these with further clarification or examples will provide a more in-depth understanding and help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. While you've mentioned general ideas about why charging for museum entry could be problematic, providing real-world examples or scenarios would make your arguments more tangible and persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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