Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The
music
is a way to connect with other communities without seeing where they come from and how old their. Some people
believe music
is a good way to bring people
from different cultures and ages. Personally, I totally agree with the statements because music
can make us closer.
On the one hand, music
has a lot of genres. Nowadays, some people
have more interest in the Korean pop genre. For instance
, in Indonesia, the majority of citizens from teenagers to the elderly have the same interest because they enjoy rhythm, lyrics, and good melodies. Furthermore
, when the idol has a concert, they can come to see together from different places. So, they do not see their cultures and ages only enjoy pieces of music
.
Additionally
, music
also
gives more empathy because the purpose of music
is different and music
also
has a different era. In my opinion, it can not be a barrier for all ages and cultures because some of the songs use world languages like English and have the same purposes. For example
, Cat Steven is a singer from the United Kingdom. Moreover
, He has a song
whose title is father and son. This
music
is old music
because the song
launched in the era of 2000. Consequently
, the new generation is not familiar with the song
but when they are interested in the purpose like a family, they can ask their parents about the song
because the topic makes them happy and always remember their family. Therefore
, they can become closer to their parents by brainstorming about the main kinds of music
.
To conclude
, I agree that music
can bring society closer because have the same interest in the genre and can transfer knowledge about music
from elder people
to teenagers without seeing where they come from and how old their.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
It is essential to present a clear main idea in each paragraph, followed by specific examples or explanations. Avoid general statements and ensure your examples are directly related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across paragraphs. Overusing certain phrases may lead to redundancy and affect the flow of the essay.
task achievement
While you gave a clear position regarding your agreement with the statement, it's crucial to address the extent of your agreement. You need to provide a thorough exploration of why you agree or disagree to fully meet the task requirements.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are directly addressing the question, restating the situation, giving your viewpoint, and summarizing the main points of your argument respectively.
task achievement
Work on varied sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range and accuracy. Also, be conscious of your personal pronouns usage ('their' has been incorrectly used; it should be 'they are' or 'they're'). Better control of grammar will improve the clarity of your ideas.
