Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles, Other people feel that it is important to reasat the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, more and more people would like to spend their free
time
more wisely, they prefer to read or doing
puzzles because they think it will be more useful rather than Wrong verb form
do
to waste
Change the verb form
wasting
time
playing video games or watching films or videos. In my point of view, leisure time
should be fullfilment
and cheerful because when you have a gripping hobby you will be absorbed in it.
On the one hand, a new generation Correct your spelling
fulfilling
tries
to do something interesting and significant Wrong verb form
trying
for increasing
Change preposition
to increase
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
such
as going to the museum, reading books or doing any sport
activities, Recently, it has begun a trend, when Fix the agreement mistake
sports
the
society chooses to be healthy and clever, so most of them have a hobby which can assist to peak their mind, Correct article usage
apply
For example
, people from 18 to 40 are keen on learning a new language, doing math exercises or collecting lego.
On the other side, others believe that their brains should have a rest after hard
working day so they choose to spend their free Correct article usage
a hard
time
surfing the internet or playing video games with friends. For instance
, a worker who works diligently, he
prefers having Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
rest to not straining Correct article usage
apply
brain
because a difficult job takes a lot of Correct article usage
the brain
energies
and Fix the agreement mistake
energy
emotionals
so the person does not do any mental work.
Correct your spelling
emotional
emotions
To sum up
, some adults spend their leisure time
for activities which might develop their mind but others don't believe that it is a good idea after working day,Submitted by valeriy.khan1985 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion effectively. Using clear transitional phrases can help the reader follow the argument with ease.
task achievement
It is important to thoroughly address both views presented in the essay prompt and offer a distinct opinion. Provide a balanced discussion and conclude with a clear statement that reflects the analysis.
task achievement
Supporting main points with relevant, specific examples helps strengthen an argument. Ensure to include these to add depth to the analysis and make the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Maintain paragraph structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should address a single main idea and must include an introductory sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more accurately and add sophistication to the writing. Avoid over-simplification which may not adequately express nuanced points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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