People nowadays are more interested in technology rather than their physical fitness .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, many people are busy with different use of gadgets for their personal purposes and they can not spend much time looking after their physical improvement.

Therefore

Linking Words

,I firmly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will discuss my viewpoints

further

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, technologies are playing a significant role in human life

such

Linking Words

Smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

Smartphones

show examples

, laptops,and

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

which make daily life more comfortable,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

easier ,and save time.

Firstly

Linking Words

,a person even can shop online

also

Linking Words

able to order food .

Secondly

Linking Words

, adolescents and employees are doing proper utilization by applying

such

Linking Words

platforms.

For example

Linking Words

, during COVID-19 all types of people especially pupils and staff were fully dependent on social platforms.

In addition

Linking Words

, locals are able to get connected via technological advancement all over the world

as a result

Linking Words

they are becoming much more reliant on tech especially those who are busy in office or business.

Besides

Linking Words

,though there are a plethora amount of benefits there are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

drawbacks,

such

Linking Words

as excessive use of technologies. Individuals are not aware of their health

as a result

Linking Words

, increasing obesity, eye issues, nerve problems, weight gain,and mental illness are very common.

For instance

Linking Words

, entities are more interested in using mobile and computers

instead

Linking Words

of going to the gym, jogging and

other free hand exercise

Change the wording

another free hand exercise

other free hand exercises

show examples

as a result

Linking Words

they tend to homesick day by day and

easier

Correct word choice

more easily

show examples

than before.

Additionally

Linking Words

, we should eat fresh food and maintain a standard lifestyle. In conclusion, technological platforms are for our comfort and to save us time

however

Linking Words

,it is known to all that take care of our health properly

otherwise

Linking Words

,we will suffer in the near future.

hashi4728Wed Dec 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay needs to have a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and present a clear argument. Use linking words effectively to enhance the logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that you have both an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction should outline the points you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your arguments without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Your supporting points require more development. Provide specific details, examples, and explanations to back up your main points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but it could be more fully developed. Be sure to explore both sides of the argument if the prompt asks for this, and make your own stance clear.

task achievement

Aim for clarity in expressing your ideas. Organize your essay in a way that makes it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. This includes clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your viewpoints. This adds credibility to your argument and shows a deeper understanding of the topic.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter: say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course
finds you in good health. My name is Ramisha Nouman and last week I enrolled in a Fashion and design course. I am writing this letter in regard to cancelling my enrollment in the previous course and want to enrol again in another course. I will mention the reason for the cancellation in the following letter statement.
7.5
band
Light pollution (excessive light during night time) is a form of pollution that distresses many people, especially in modern cities. What are the causes of light pollution, and what solutions can you suggest for governments and businesses to take?
Non-renewable energy utilization has been the subject of considerable debate. There are distinct sets of reasons for this conundrum and this can be mitigated by little mindfulness and scrutiny. This essay intends to analyze the aforementioned notion with reasons and solutions, as shall be elaborated upon presently.
8
band
Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that everyone should spend all of their time on education until they are mature. This writer agrees with this statement because of successful careers and better life quality.
6.5
band
Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience
It is often believed that it is the government's responsibility to take care of seniors after their retirement by providing financial support while some people are pessimistic about this, thinking it is the individual responsibility to save on their own. I partially support the latter, for growing expenses for other areas including food and education make it difficult for the authorities to support seniors regardless of the fact their longevity leads to the shortage of their savings.
6
band
Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
Nowadays, a lot of toys, ranging from simple dolls to complicated electronic gadgets like video games, are provided for some children by their parents. I think this is not a problem provided children are sufficiently active and care for their toys. (41 words)

People nowadays are more interested in technology rather than their physical fitness .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter: say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course

Light pollution (excessive light during night time) is a form of pollution that distresses many people, especially in modern cities. What are the causes of light pollution, and what solutions can you suggest for governments and businesses to take?

Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?